T Girls Rock!

My first published article! (well not posted by me.)

2011-08-12T10:32:00.000-05:00

Yay! I am going to toot my own horn for a moment. Well, maybe for today! I am published, by someone other than me! Wa-hoo!

Ok, now I got that off my chest. Here is the link if you would like to read it.

http://www.btwixtandbtweenblog.com/wordpress/?p=1473

Have a blessed day,
Until we read again,
wt

To be or not to be a middle schooler? Therein lies the question.

2011-08-09T15:43:00.000-05:00

My sweet 11, almost 12 year old is going into sixth grade. Yes, middle school. Or is she? A year ago, I said that we were homeschooling. At the end of the school we weren't. Now, we are. Or are we...? We are, we aren't. Oh man!

Let me step back, to a year ago. God laid homeschooling on my heart before she began fifth grade. She was on board with the prospects at the beginning of the school year. By year end, the teachers had built up the idea of middle school that she decided she didn't want to. She said, “Let me just try one year and see how it goes. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, physically,” I said, “but what happens to my sweet Catie and your brain and moral character?” Lions and Tigers and Kerr Cougars, Oh My!

I finally decided, to let go and let God have it (should have done that in the beginning, duh.) “Catie, let’s pray about it this summer.” I said when school got out. “If God wants us to do it, He will change your heart. If He doesn’t, then you can go to middle school and we will trust Him.” I figured if it was His will for her to go, then He would keep her safe.

Two weeks ago, after church, Catie came to me and asked if it was too late to homeschool? I told her nope and here we are, looking for curriculum. Ugh…what a dreadful, delight. My mind is swirling with possibilities, while I grab for a throw up bag. I don’t want to make a bad choice. I hear the words of friends and family echoing in my ear,

“You don’t want her to get behind and then go back to school and have to redo a grade.”

“You'll never make it, you’re not organized enough?”

“She’s going to be weird and unsocialized!”

Now, I can let the evil one cause me to fear the unknown or I can trust that if God laid this on our hearts, He is going to help us muddle through the dirty mess of choices and come out clean on the other side. I know this journey is going to be filled with craziness. I know this journey could be rough at times and not so bad at other times. That said, I’m actually excited to try this and let God bless our family for trusting Him. And I’m glad we are doing it together. I’ll keep you posted.

Be blessed, until we read again…wt

Long enough

2011-07-05T13:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I think I have waited long enough to post again. :-) Seriously, anyone who was reading me, quit because it's been so long. If you still are here, wow, I'm impressed. I would have given up, a long time ago.

Now that's said, I don't even know what to say. I just know I need to say something.

We haven't been to worship in over a month now. Not because we don't want to go, more because we have been trying to take care of family on the weekends when we don't have tournaments. When we aren't playing softball, we are at my mother in law's house taking care of her. Yesterday was the first day in 3 months where we didn't have something to do. That was awesome.

All in all though, I feel lost and can feel the world creeping into me. God's been showing it to me. I feel myself wanting more stuff. I feel the evil one coming out in how I speak and act. I hate it and I don't want it anymore.

A few weeks ago, we started our house church back up again. Our lives have been in such trauma, the past several months, that we really needed some one on one Spirit healing and guidance. We enjoy our large church family so much, but there was a need. We asked the past leaders of our group, whom we are still very close with, to come back to meeting weekly and have started a audio lesson in Spiritual Authority. We are going into week number 4 and have added another family back into our house church mix. Wow, does it feel good too. We eat together, then listen to the 30 minute or so teaching, discuss and pray about the needs in all our lives. It's awesome, but I still need more.

It came to me that I need more God in my life. I have a responsibility to keep the Father close to me. Even more so with the lack of worship. I need to be reading more of the Word, letting Him fill me. I need some more peace, that only He can give. I'm just tired of wearing myself out trying to do it all alone. Heck, with thinking that I can do it all alone! How can I be a Spiritual mentor to my girls, when all I'm mentoring is being/doing nothing. I have gained back all the weight I lost due to stress. What would my life have been like these past few months if I hadn't have given up? Instead of shoving food in my mouth because I'm stressed, if I would have shoved my head in the Word and let God fill me where He knew I needed to be filled, rather than me filling it where I thought I needed to be filled. Now I feel crappy and unhappy, like a loser, (or gainer) because I worked so hard, for nothing. Now I have to start all over. I can't believe I did that to myself. See how easy it is for me to spiral out of control into the never ending, self hating vortex of darkness.

I can't do this anymore. I have to do better. I need to let go of the past, hurts and all. Move on and transition into where I am now. Ask and seek the guidance that He wants to give me. Follow it, instead of walking away. I'm in need Lord. Guide me. Lead me. Push me. Pull me. Help me.

Gosh, I feel like this is more of a journal entry than an uplifting post. Maybe getting all this off my chest will help me make the next step towards victory and away from failure. Get thee behind me Satan. I'm walking to the Light. Get thee under my foot Satan. I'm a child of the Most High God. I am victorious.

Today, I begin fresh. Future is in front of me.

Be Blessed, Until we read again...

Cliff jumpin'

2011-03-10T08:53:00.000-06:00

Why is it that the only time we scream for help is when we are on the edge of the cliff fixin to take that last step and fall into the great abyss?

The Lord wants us to walk with Him always. I think that we need to hear His voice. We need to ask more about the little things, so when the big things come, we are already tuned into His frequency instead of the world's.

We allow the things of this world to swirl around us as we pick through the things we think we can control, but in actuality, we don't control anything. Our lines are drawn out before us and cross the necessary paths. When we stray, it just makes it harder.

I had a dream awhile back that I was in an old campground. I was trying to find my way back to my site. It was built on the side of a hill, with lots of trees and overgrown bushes. It was a large campground. I could see RV's and tents and I remember pushing through bushes and getting scratched, tripping over rocks and logs, trying to take a short cut that may or may not lead me to where I was going. All the while, on the other side of the bushes, there was a paved path that led all the way to my home. It was cracked, but it was clear all the way up.

I believe that is how we live our lives. We think we can short cut through life, but we are getting beaten and bruised while we fumble our way through the bushes and logs. We will hopefully still make it, but wouldn't it be easier to follow the paved path that God had laid from the beginning? Wouldn't it be easier to trip on a crack and still be able to get up and see home? God doesn't promise us that it will be easy, but He does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. When we fall, He is there to help us up. IF we can slow down and know that He is there.

I know for myself, it's easy for me to start spinning and let my mind get out of control and find myself on the edge, totally turned around. But I know, that even if I get to the edge and take that step, I can still scream and He will be my bungee cord. He will bounce me back up and put me back on His path He laid for me at the beginning of time. All I have to do is ask. I have to be stll and know that He is God and I will never walk the path alone.

I don't know about you, but I sure want out of the bushes and to have the healer, kiss my boo-boo's and put a Barbie Band-aid on me and put me back on the right path. I need His help to keep me on the path that HE laid for me and not the one I keep trying to make myself. I don't like heights and I don't want to be a jumper. Lord help me be still and know you are God. In Jesus Name!

Be blessed,
Until we read again...

God Control

2011-01-15T11:16:00.001-06:00

A couple years ago, I decided to go on a weight loss journey. I did good, for awhile. Then I petered out. I have gained back about 3 pounds since I hit the plateau. I started running again in April of 2010, only to peter out again from injuries in November of 2010. Then came Moms on the Run (MOTR) through Fort Worth Running Company. (btw, FW Running Company is a Christian based, not afraid to talk about it organization. They are doing it for the health and wellness of the runners, so I encourage you to give business their way if you want to start exercising or running.) Anyway, MOTR was a group of moms that was going to meet on Tu/Th/Sa that started in the beginning of December. The goal, a Benbrook 5K on January 29th. My goal, be able to run for a full 3 miles, without stopping. I decided to sign up for it because, well, I had a lack of self motivation. I choose exercise peer pressure as my booty kicker and let me tell you, it worked! I haven't lost any extra weight, but I have lost a whole dress size. I know muscle mass, but that is not what I want to hear. I want the scale to go down. I also went from barely being able to run 2 minutes and walking 1 minute, to running 5 minutes then walking a minute and up from there. We have been doing it for 6 weeks now and I am happy to tell you that I can run the full 3 miles already! I thought for sure, there was no way, but here I am. And crazy as it sounds, I am going to train with them for another month and do the Cowtown 10k! Ahhhh! What am I thinking? I signed up for it yesterday, so there's no backing out now. Deep breath.

That said, the Lord has been impressing on me that, though I have excelled quickly running with the guidance of an encourager and of course family support, I still haven't lost any weight because I just eat. I want it, I eat it. I have a lack of self control when it comes to food. I am thoughtless about it and just put it in my mouth. I have worked so hard to get my body back under control, yet I have fallen way short of that with my mouth.

So, with the urgings of the Spirit comes a conviction to give it back to Him and work on the self discipline that comes with letting the Father make my paths straight, (away from the kitchen.)

I have chosen to get back into my Sparkpeople account and reset my goals. I want to lose twenty pounds by May 15th. Then I will reset goals again when that day comes. Little bit at a time, till I hit my final goal of forty pounds. I wrote a blog post on Sparkpeople back in 2009 and I am going to include it on this post because it goes hand in hand with what I feel the need to do. I want to share it with whoever the Lord thinks might need to hear it. It is not just for food, but can be used for any addiction. Just think of how the concept of asking the Lord can apply to you.

Here it is, tell me your thoughts.
July 1, 2009
Turning Self Control into God Control

I have been trying and trying, sort of, to lose weight. I have been stagnate. Gain a pound here and lose a pound there, but no continuous loss. It is my fault though. I have been inconsistent. I have been weighing myself, but I don't update my SparkPage because it isn't enough. Most of the time it is up a half pound, then I go down a half pound and up a pound then down a half pound. You get the picture. Problem is I don't want to log it because my scale on my Page never moves. I don't want to embarrass myself. I will log it when it goes down some more. No one will know, except me. Excuses.

So, I was reading my bible the other day and God asked me why I don't ask Him what I am supposed to eat. Before I grab the nearest string cheese or extra bite of dinner, why don't I ask Him if it's okay? It hit me. I take all of my other troubles to God, why not take this one too?

See, I am a control freak. (recovering) There I said it. I have been working on this for a long time. I can't control my kids. I can't control other peoples choices that affect me. I can't control the red light that I will have to stop at and I can't control the time slot of my favorite shows, although with my digital recorder, I have a false sense that I can. I can't control the weather or anything else for that matter. I sure try though.

What I can control is the way I react to situations and what I put in my mouth and I have failed miserably at both. Why is that? Because I have told myself over and over that those are the only things that I control! Duh... Who is supposed to be driving my mind? Instead, I am trying to drive and putting the most important person in the backseat, Jesus. What happens when we do all the driving and place Jesus in the child seat in the back? I say that because we treat Him like a child sometimes, He can't do it good enough, so we will take care of it ourselves. Obviously, we can handle it better, right? Not. Um, last time I checked, He was the King of the Universe.

My dear friend asks me, "So, how's that workin for ya?"

"It's not." I say and hang my head in shame.

"What are you going to do about it?"

Well, I am writing a blog to tell everyone on SparkPages, I am going to sit in the child seat in the back and let God be my Daddy that He wants to be. I continue to blow it on my own, over and over and over again. I will ask Him before I eat, if He wants me to eat and if so, what. I will ask him when it's time to workout. I bet He has that on a list of things for me to do today. His schedule is better than mine. I bet that His schedule has me finishing everything that NEEDS to get done. Won't that be nice? What do I really control after all? Nothing. God controls everything. I just need to stop and listen to Him. It will take time to train myself, but when I am diligent about seeking Him, He will let me find Him and He is faithful to answer.

Why am I telling you? Well, I am writing this blog as an accountability device for me. I don't know if anyone will even read this, but I know I wrote it and it is out there floating around. I said it now, it's not just in my head. It is official. It is now written. In fact, I think that I will publish this to Facebook. Then all my friends can see it and hold me accountable. Ouch. That's scary. I have a lot of friends on Facebook now.

God, thank you for giving me the heart you have. Thank you for making me who I am. May my journey be one that you are proud of. May my ears hear Your voice and my mind follow your words. May my self control now be God control. May my body be a worthy temple for you. In your Son Jesus' Holy name, Amen

Be blessed,
Until we read again...

Change is so good, NOT!

2011-01-09T14:55:00.000-06:00

No, I'm not talking about the change in your pocket or in the bottom of your purse. Not the pretty silver and copper colored stuff. That stuff is good. Especially the nickels. I'm talking about the change that is like a scratchy sweater. The kind that when you put it on, it's itchy and it makes you wiggle your back trying to get it off. The kind that when you get home, you rip it off and swear you are going to throw it away, but can't because you great Auntie Gertrude gave it to you and you have to wear it every time you see her.

No, I'm talking about the change that when it starts happening around you, you feel like you are going to throw up. The one you have no control over and you feel helpless to stop it.

I hate change. Sorry mom. I dislike change very much. It is uncomfortable and unwelcome. Why can't things stay the same? Moan. Why can't we all just get along? Wail. Oh, wait, wrong post.

God has been dealing with me on change for awhile. Well, since I was born I guess. I grew up in a very safe home. I had both sets of grandparents within a 10 mile radius. It was comfortable. It was good. I was secure and I knew it would be that way forever. But it wasn't. My family fell apart, parents got divorced, friends moved, boyfriends came and went, grandparents passed away and all along, I was trying to grab onto something that would be the same forever.

That, my friends, is my problem. I think in terms of "forever." When I think about things, I think about them being the same forever. Friends, churches, schools, I want things to be the same. I imagine my girls marrying boys that they have grown up with and we have been friends with for a long time. It's comfortable, familiar, secure. Yet, things don't work that way. They weren't intended to.

God spoke to me a little over a year ago. My last grandparent passed away in November of 2009. Let me step back and say that my dad's parents were children of the depression. My grandma was so traumatized by it that she was a horder of sorts. Food, toilet paper, money. They saved. My grandparents house is the same today as it was when it was built in the 70's. Same color, same furniture, always the same. Maybe that has somehow affected the way I think of things. In all my chaos, that was one thing that I always could count on, my grandparents would always be the same. When I went into their house, it smelled the same. Grandma wanted to play Kings on the Corner and Grandpa would look at me with the same loving eyes that he did when I was a child. He'd smile and call me "Wendy-Pete." It was the same and it was so good. Till they both passed away in 2009. Grandma in May and Grandpa at the end of October. See as hard as I tried to keep things the same, no matter what, I couldn't. People grow old. People get sick. People die.

Taking it a step further, people move, people get mad and sometimes people just grow apart. The funny things is, no matter how much we want things to stay the same, we can't. We weren't meant to be the same. We were meant to grow and change. The only thing that will ever stay the same is death. When you're dead, change stops. No matter what, we are still dead. I know, "Wow Wendy, you sure are dark today." Well, I've been dark for awhile, but to me, it's not really dark. It's more like light. God's light. He's been shining on me and asking me to accept that He has changes in store for me and that it's okay because guess what, He doesn't change. He stays the same, forever! (Hallelujah, Praise God!)

All these years, I was searching for something that was secure and the same and He was right in front of me. I guess that is part of what happens when you don't find the Lord till your are 26. I was a control freak, well, still am so I guess I am a recovering control freak, but anyway, I was a control freak in high school. I wanted to control everyone and everything. I would break up with boys just so that they couldn't break up with me. I am sure that I broke many hearts and looking back, I was not a very nice person to be around. I thank God my sister and my best friend Laura stuck by me even when I hurt them too. I think that happens when everything is out of control and you try to control your circumstances to the best of your ability, no matter who gets run over along the way. But even way back then, God still held my hand. I just didn't know it. He tenderly guided my path and kept me out of trouble that I deserved, but didn't get because He had other things in mind for me.

Then years later, I get a job in Texas and move 2000 miles away from my home. I was 18 and even then, I planned on staying with my job forever. I was going to be friends with these people, forever. That lasted a whole 8 years. Then I got to change jobs. But I would still be friends with all these people, right? Nope. I only have contact with a handful of those hundreds of people I knew. God moved me through another job and now two more churches and still I find myself longing for forever.

I guess I pour all this out to you because God has shown me that there is only one forever and it is with Him and that time has not yet come. He has told me that though I may seek security here and look for forever here, He has other things planned. He doesn't want me to be comfortable because then I might quit seeking Him. He has shared with me that all these ugly sweaters that keep getting put on me, well they are all about making me a little better, a little more like Him. He likes ugly, scratchy sweaters. They create a need for change and change is good. As long as we have on an ugly, scratchy sweater, we will be open to trying to change it, trying to find a better fit, but we won't and we shouldn't. Not here on this earth. Only when we see Him in the ever after will the change end. In the meantime, we need to willingly embrace the changes He has planned for us. Plans to prosper us and give us a future. (Jeremiah is so cool.) He has good stuff for us. When we die, we can get our soft, cuddly final sweater and it will be good. Heck, maybe it will even be a snuggie, with wings on the back.

Be blessed, until we read again,
wt

Facebook for tweens

2010-05-30T13:30:00.002-05:00

I don't know about you kiddos, but my tween is dying to be a part of Facebook. I have to say, I have spent countless hours on Facebook and found lots of old/new friends. It has been a ton of fun! However, that said, I am not comfortable letting my 10 year old (almost 11 year old, sniff, sniff) have free reign on a site that doesn't have a lot of protection for children. Seriously, it is geared toward adults, not kids.

I am a member of Mom Central online. It has been a great experience. I get to test products (like a cooking class with the Sneaky Chef and the new Uncle Ben's Whole Grain Rice, YummEE with a capital E) and do some other fun things. As a Test Drive mom, I was given the opportunity to check out Yoursphere with Catie. It is a website specifically geared toward tweens and teens. They put your child's safety first. This allows them to particpate in an online community and the parents can know that they are safe. This is a 3 month test drive and we have weekly assignments, including a required 2 blog posts a month.

For my first post, I would like to tell you a little bit about Yoursphere. Before they allows kids to participate, parents must set up an account. Once their accounts are set, the parent then sets up accounts for each child. Yoursphere will run a background check on you for safety reasons. That also assures you that whoever has access to Yoursphere has also been cleared of any possible "issues". One of the perks of having the account as a parent is that you can check your childs posts and activity. I love that, except for since it is only your child, you don't get to see things in context, but if you have a questionable post, you can ask your child.

On Yourshere, your child can join Sphere's. A sphere is a group with a common interest. Catie created one about cats. Kids post pictures and comment about different things related to cats. There are all kinds of spheres!

There is a game world, if you child likes to play or watch you play the Facebook apps, they will love Our World. I will talk more about that in my next post.

Yoursphere keeps close eye on the posts to avoid bullying. To do this, they have goodwill ambassadors and of course technology. Your child can get rewarded points for good behavior too. Plus with your access, if you happen to catch them saying something they shouldn't, you have the ability to delete the comment or go so far as to freeze the account, until you see fit to unfreeze it.

There are contest's and games and all kinds of fun things for your tween/teen to do and it is in a safe fun environment.

Feel free to check it out www.yoursphere.com When you sign up, be sure to add the code YSMC-0004 When your kiddo signs up, drop me a comment or email and give me their username so Catie and be their friend.
(FYI, they are going to be doing a remodel of the home page here pretty soon, so the look and content of the homepage will be changing.) I love the fact that they listen to what the test drive moms have to say.

This post was done because I think that Yoursphere is so cool, I want your kids to try it out too. But, I also need to let you know that I wrote this review while participating in the Yoursphere Test Drive program by Mom Central on behalf of Yoursphere. I received a free lifetime Gold membership on Yoursphere.com, Yoursphere t-shirts, and a $50 American Express gift card to facilitate my review.

Be Blessed,
Until we read again...

Gardening and stuff

2010-04-22T08:23:00.003-05:00

James and I decided that this would be the year for a garden. We feel like, with the economy as uncertain as it is, we had better learn how to do something for ourselves and stop depending on Wal-Mart and City Market to have what we need to survive. At least if we can't find or buy other things, we can have the fixins from the garden and can can or freeze what we have.

The garden is a ton of work, let me tell you. It starts out as grass, but you gotta till. And till. And till. And till. Then you have to pull the weeds out by hand. Then make rows. Then pull the weeds out by hand. Then we planted some stuff. Then we got another late freeze and lost most of it. In the midst of this, you are still weeding and watering. Snow doesn't count as watering either, by the way. I replanted most of what I lost from the freeze and the snow. We did plant carrots, but they didn't even sprout. Unless they looked like weeds and I pulled them, oops. Needless to say, I didn't replant those. Instead, I planted more lettuce and garlic. :-) My garden has the all the makings of salsa planted in it.

Things I have learned.
1. If my ten year old wants to talk, we have "garden time" and go out to weed, just her and I. (Did I mention there is lots of weeding required? If you miss it for a few days or a week...yes that did happen once...it's hard to get caught back up.)

2. Patience. I know everyone says this, but if you have a patience problem, like me, grow a garden. It trains you in the way of patience. Stuff doesn't grow overnight and just because you watch it doesn't mean it will grow quicker. Trust me, I tried that too. God's timing is not our timing and guess who is in charge of your garden. That's right, God. I believe He made it that way on purpose. I am a NOW, kinda girl, but guess what, this garden has taught me there is no such thing as now in gardening. Unless it's a weed growing. Then there are lots of nows. It has taught me that hard work and elbow grease is good for me. Each day I would go out and check on my empty ground to see if they sprouted. Sometimes I would not weed, just in case, because I didn't know what the plant would look like. Thank goodness because I would have pulled the lettuce out. When I finally got some sprouts, I called everyone out and we celbrated! Now, my potatoes look like monster plants. My corn is beautiful. My peas finally started grabbing onto the fence. My grapes are looking gorgeous and I am training them on the second wire now. Oh, and my baby plants that I started in the house, well, they are ready to be planted in the garden this weekend! Things are really looking good and it's because God taught me to wait on His perfect growing season.

3. I think I said this, sort of in number one, but seriously, don't procrastinate. If you don't feel like weeding or working in the garden, do it anyway. If not, you will work double time trying to get caught back up. If you think about it, life is that way. If you half a.s something, pardon the language, it will take you more time to go back and fix it then it would have if you just did it right the first time, so just get 'er done. Your plants will thank you for it and so will your boss.

4. Gardening counts as excercise. Yes, I checked and it does. You can burn calories. You work all kinds of muscles. Ask mine, they are sore. Plus, you get so into what you are doing out there that you can easily lose track of time and forget to eat. Yep, did that too, lots. So, less calories taken in and more calories burns equals fat loss. Yay for me!

I know I have more things I have learned, but for some reason, my mind is blank, so I will just show you a couple of pictures and close out. Be looking for more blogs to come. I need to get back in the habit of doing this, so come check it out again.

This was our first harvest. Unfortuneately, the only ones who like radishes are James and myself. Bummer.

This is this morning. If you look close, you can see the potatoes on the left in the front and the corn in the back. The grapes or on the right hand side.

I was working the garden one day and heard the strangest sound...I turned around and look what I saw. Yes, that is a peacock on top of my house. There is a neighbor about 5 house up and she has rescued two. One of them wandered a little far away from home. I guess she needed a better look to get her bearings and make her way home.

Be blessed,
Until we read again...

Heeeellllloooo!

2010-04-13T13:31:00.002-05:00

Ok, do I need to introduce myself again??? You remember, Wendy, 3 girls who are totally rockin awesome. Wild moves of the Lord in my life??? Remember me?? Awesome.

This is just a quick post, but I want you to know that I am back. I have words flowing through my head that are busting to get out. I think I might be losing some out my ears, but not too messy.

Forwarning, I will be blogging again soon, so be sure to check back. No more sad ones either, at least for now.

Stay tuned, IIII'MMMM BAAAAAACK!

Be blessed,
Until we read again.

Death, Reconciliation and Healing

2009-11-05T08:04:00.003-06:00

I just noticed that the last time I wrote on my blog, it was on Grandparents Day. How fitting, I suppose. I had one grandparent left on that day and he was in a memory loss nursing home. I am sad to say that my grandpa passed away on October 23. Grandpa would have been 90 on November 11.

He had fallen a few weeks before and broke a couple of ribs. The medicine they gave him made his mind go even further away. He stopped eating and walking (or I think wandering would be more appropriate.) He lost a lot of weight. I talked to my dad just the week before and they were calling hospice into the situation which meant less than 6 months. Less than 2 weeks later, he was gone.

Several things tie into that I believe. First, Grandpa always promised that he couldn't die until Grandma and my Aunt Bonnie did. He believed he had to take care of them. My aunt was, well for lack of better word, slow. She has always had someone take care of her. Now don't get me wrong, she can function, but not like we do. She has no friends, no job and basically spent her time visiting my grandparents at the nursing home, running errands and sitting in a quiet house with her 3 small dogs on 4 acres that my grandpa kept immaculate, till he got too sick to take care of it.

My sister has been wanting to move back to Grants Pass for sometime now with her family. Due to circumstances beyond her control over the past 6 months or so, her path has led her to be evicted from her rental home in Portland. During the past few weeks or so, my dad and sister have worked out a plan that would allow her and her family to move back home and live on the property. Jaime's husband is a lot like my grandpa and would be able to tend to the property and renew the garden and the flowers and the yard. It is very exciting. Plus, my aunt wouldn't be alone anymore.

I think that in a round about way, maybe my dad confided to my grandpa what was going on and maybe Grandpa knew that Bonnie would be taken care of and he could let go. I think that Grandpa wandered the halls of his nursing home constantly because his subconscious knew that if he didn't, he would die and then he couldn't keep his word.

My grandpa was brilliant. He was an engineer for NASA in the beginning. He was also special ops in WWII in Asia. I didn't even know that till I read his obituary. He even worked at Roswell Air Force base...before all the aliens. We used to laugh because even if he did know about the alien stuff he couldn't tell me. So he was a man of his word. He was kind and gentle. He was shorter than me, so whenever I left town to come back to Texas he would hug me and I would kiss his bald head. He was awesome and I will miss him. I am so thankful that God gave me those glimses that I had of him in May after Grandma passed away. God is so good.

My dad let me handle the funeral service. He said that he didn't want a stranger talking about his dad. After I was done, my dad told me that I did good and Grandpa would have been proud. The only time I got choked up was when I talked about after I found Christ. I had gone home and it was a good trip. My grandparents house was on the way out of town, so they were always my last stop before getting on the freeway to drive 4 hours back to Portland. The first hours or so, I usually cried. Grandpa always walked me to the car and gave me that extra long hug to tide me over till next time he saw me. I asked him if he believed in God and he said "Oh Yeah! I read my bible every morning and pray. It keeps me grounded." We conversed a little more, but I was shocked. I was twenty something years old and never knew my grandparents even owned a bible. I got that bible, by the way. My dad told me I could have it. It is a Catholic bible, but I don't care. It smells like my grandparents. Grandpas last place he read was Mark 4. I don't know where, but that is the page he stopped at.

On top of that there was a reconcilation with my cousin, whom I haven't talked to since high school. To tell you the truth, I remember part of why, but not all. I don't care though, I apologized for acting like an ass all these years. (excuse my language, but that is what I was.) It was so nice sitting and reminiscing with her and my sister. I forgot how many good memories we had.

I also had healing. Oddly enough it was on a plane ride home talking to a soldier. He was on his way back to Iraq. He has been married for 8 years and only spent two anniversaries home. We talked about the serious stuff and I figured he'd had enough of that. He wanted funny stupid high school stories so that's what we did. We laughed and talked. It was great. I got his address so my girls could write to him. He said that there were 130 folks in his company and some of them never get anything in the mail. Hopefully we can take care of that. Anyway, the whole point of telling you this was to enlist your help in communicating with these soldiers and being penpals. He said they would send pictures and all kinds of fun stuff. Secondly,I was a terrible teenager and it seemed like every story I told was healing for me. I released it I guess. God took it and wiped it away. After I got baptized, I no longer felt shame or regret. It didn't weigh me down, it just was there. Now, I feel nothing, except a story that led me down a path to get to where I am today. Once again, God can use all avenues to push us to where we need to go, even the darker ones. He is so good.

I think that is what he is trying to do with me right now. Heal parts that need healing. Sometimes, before he can take us to the next level, he has to make sure all loose ends are tied up.

I'm not sure why I decided to tell you all of this. Maybe as a reminder for me of all that good things that can happen in ones darkest times. My grandpa was a light to me and my world will be a little darker without him, but God can light up even the darkest spots.

Be blessed,
Until we read again...

Grandparents Day

2009-09-13T14:37:00.002-05:00

I woke up at 545am this morning. I had a dream about all my grandparents. I will occasionally dream about them and tell them how much I miss them and love them. They will hug me and hold me and reply the same. I always wake up crying. I miss them. I long for their arms to hug me and let me crawl up on their lap. I long for them to pull me into their chest and tell me how special I am and how proud of me they are. They would be too. They would look at my girls and tell me how beautiful they are and then tell me a story about something silly I did when I was their age. I long for those days.

I don't know why, but this dream, when I woke up, this dream hung over me. I have one grandparent left and he is almost gone. His body is still working, sort of, but his mind is locked away somewhere deep down in his brain. I think that today, maybe I thought it would be the day I got a phone call from my dad saying Grandpa Joe was gone. All day, I have been waiting. Why? I don't know, but I miss him. I miss my grandparents. I want my grandparents and they are gone. I think it hit me today. The more I think about it, the sadder I get. Even this Cowboy game isn't enough to keep me occupied. (they are winning btw...)

I guess there will always be days like this, but hopefully they aren't too often. Hopefully, the memories will keep their spirits alive in me and when I look at my girls, I can see my grandparents in them.

So, I say all this to tell you, that today, on Grandparents Day, if you have your grandparents still, give them an extra hug and tell them again how much you love them. Encourage your children to do the same. Tell the surrogate grandparents in your lives, you know who they are, how much you appreciate them stepping in and helping to fill a void, for your children, that would go otherwise empty. You know who they are. I know who they are and my girls do too.
Thank you to all of you and we love you.

Until we read again...

Oregon vacation part 2

2009-08-11T10:12:00.014-05:00

It wouldn't be fitting if I didn't start out our vacation story with the vehicle we were riding in. To be fair...apparently, Subaru's are very popular cars in Oregon. Well, this one belongs to my sister's husband who has hand-crafted his to fit his needs. Needless to say, this is a Jalopy. A picture just can't do this poor vehicle justice. On a side note though, we did get LOTS of compliments on it. I know, it is crazy.

On the car ride, my sister had her cd that we listened to old music (60's, 70's and 80's music is old now...) My kids had never heard Yellow Submarine before and it was on this cd...here is the kiddo all singing their hearts out in the back seat..

There was a side of a hill with lots of erosion and fun climbing. Miranda finally got to climb a tree.

We got to the Sunset Bay and it was a beautiful day. It was almost time for sundown so we walked down to the beach. There is a tunnel under the road, many childhood memories were made in that tunnel...screaming I mean, you know while we were walking down there...

This is the reason for the name, "Sunset Bay". I particularly like the Catie with her hands out, taking it all in.

Next morning...see that fire...I built it. I was feeling my inner logger come alive.

My brother came down on Monday. We walked down to the beach at low tide and played in the sand. We dug some hug holes in the sand. One was so big, we put Miranda in it and let her dig a tunnel to the next big hole. Our goal was to dig a whole bunch of holes then connect them and when the water came in, it was supposed to fill them up. Problem was, the tide was going out, not coming in. Yea, go ahead and laugh. I don't have any pictures of that because my sister had her camera. I am afraid that there will be some pictures that are of my booty in the air and my head in a hole. She would take blackmail pictures like that. Brat.

Later that day, we walked back down to the beach and walked out on the rocks while the tide was out. I got some cool pics of Tim looking out at the water.

The kids liked to spend their time on the rocks looking into tide pools and poking sea anenomes. (whatever, I don't know how to spell it either.)

One of the favorite passtimes of camping during the lowest tide of the seasons is clamming in the morning. You get up early, go out in the cold coastal weather into the muddy ocean bed, watch for water squirt up from the wet ground, stick a dowel rod into the earth and dig 2 feet into the water for a clam. Oh wait, did I lead you to believe that I enjoy it...no. I was forced to do it when I was kid and I don't have to do it now, so my answer was a vehement no. Miranda went though. They went two days, she only went once, so the picture dates will be messed up, but rest assured, they do the same thing each time. I also started the fire that will be in the pictures. Oh and Miranda's shoes were promptly thrown away. Those smelly things were not coming home.

Once clams are caught they need to be cleaned. Each clam comes with 2 crabs inside, a male and female. The kids promptly seperated them out into piles and "saved" them. When we were all done, we walked down to the beach and released the crabs back into the ocean...(mind you they live inside clams). The crabs were promptly eaten by seagulls...but the kids didn't know what was going on.

We went for a hike later that day with my dad. It goes around the point and you get some beautiful views of the ocean, beaches and other bluffs. You even get to see a lighthouse.

Too bad it was foggy every other day we were in Oregon.

Here is a picture of a crazy crab that we caught. It didn't want to die in the boiling water and be eaten for dinner later that evening...

That was the jist of our trip. It was fun...even with all the crazy waiting. We drove up highway 101, which is the coastal highway of the Pacific. BEAUTIFUL. I was so tired that I didn't take any pictures. It was a beautiful day too. Oh well, that just means I will have to do it again.

We left out at the Portland airport at 430am. We got bumped from every flight, again. The last flight was supposed to leave at 330pm, however due to mechanical problems in DFW, it didn't get to Portland till 630pm. They had rolled people off of the, booked full, last flight to other flights, which left this plane wide open. We got on! Praise God! We got back home in our door at 215am on Saturday morning.

Whew what a trip. Here are a couple more pics for you to peruse...

Oregon Adventure July 2009 part 1

2009-08-03T12:59:00.004-05:00

Oh my! Where do I start? I am sure most everyone knows that we have been planning on this July trip for camping and fun since September of last year. Sunset Bay State Park was a yearly vacation spot for my family while we were growing up. I have MANY lovely memories there. This was something I was so looking forward to doing with my sister and her kiddos and our Dad.

So, for starters, the plan was to fly on my sisters non revenue airline passes for the airline she works for. We were slated to check in at the coast on Sunday 19July for 4 nights. Being that the passes were standby and not confirmed, we were going to start trying to leave on Thursday beforehand. That way if we got bumped a couple times, well, we would still have plenty of time.

Well, me being the wonderful planner that I am, started bugging Jaime a week in advance to look at the flights and tell me what they look like. "Not great." She said. Tuesday before, I asked her again, "What do they look like?"
Her reply this time, "Bad. Do you think you could start trying to get out on Wednesday night? That way when you get bumped, you will start further up the list."

Now, let me tell you, about this "list." If you are on the "list", you are amongst a group of several people who watch a monitor flash behind the agents head at the counter. It shows the weather at your destination, the approximate arrival time, the upgrade "list" and the standby passenger "list." Your goal, if you chose to accept it, is to watch your name move up the "list", till it hits the number one position and your name is called to get the coveted, golden boarding pass. (It's really white, but for this story, they were golden.)

We drove to the airport for to try to get on the 430pm flight to Portland. The girls were excited. They each had their backpacks, stuffed with a blanket, crayons, coloring books, paper and 2 Webkinz of their choice. So much joy and laughter. Oh hummm...I should have enjoyed that more at that time. Little did I know that 3 flights bumped later, we would be going home. Now luckily we were already short 5 pieces of check in luggage because they waved goodbye at us from under the plane of the 430pm flight. I could have sworn that I saw them waving and mouthing the words, "so long sucka, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya!" It was a long drive home at about 9pm.

The first flight left at 9am the next morning, we were in the teens on the list, so there was plenty of hope from the day before. We had to leave about 645am to miss traffic to the airport. That sucked. The girls hate getting up early. There was still some joy though. We will definitely make it today, Daddy said he had a feeling. Or was that Friday morning when we left at 645am after being bumped 6 more times and sitting in the late 20's early 30's on the despised "list" and watching few other standbyes run away with our coveted golden boarding passes. We ended up spending 13 hours in the airport on Thursday. The girls were troopers though. They created Webkinz homes using their blankets. I uploaded a picture to Facebook, but just in case you missed it, here it is again.

Friday, I decided after listening to some tv preacher I had never heard before, that we were going to try a new approach to getting bumped. We were going to FROG everything that we got frustrated at. Instead of saying darn or poo and other words I should be using, I was going to use FROG. Fully Rely on God and the girls were too. That was thing number one. Thing number two... in order to always be in God's will, we were going to 1-Rejoice always. 2-Pray continuously 3-Praise in everything. So the same thing happened, 9a-bump, FROG! next, rejoice, we have each other and we are not ouside in the heat...pray, please God have mercy on us, Praise, you are so awesome God that even if we don't make it, you are here hangin out with us. 1020a-bump, Frog, rejoice, pray, praise, 1230p-bump -ahhhhh FROG, rejoice, pray, praise, ride the bus back out to the van because Miranda left our lunch in the car, note don't leave your kids in charge of lunches, 430p-bump (you get the picture), panic mode officialy sets in.

"Jaime, how do the flights look tomorrow?"

"Bad."

Frog, Frog, Frog! If we don't make today, we can't go camping. We won't make it in time. Back up plan, "Jai, can you afford to at least go if we can't make it?"

"Wendy, you have to get here, it is my vacation too."

"Jaime, you said if we don't make it tonight we won't make it tomorrow. We are still 30's on the "list."

"Let's see what happens on the next flight. Maybe you can get into Seattle and I will come get you." (Portland is a 3 hour drive from Seattle.)

Ok, next flight 630p, bump. FROG!! How is this happening? Why God??? Girls have been melting down. They hate the airport. They never want to fly again. They hate each other. They hate their Webkinz, which by this time are so dirty that I can't even recognize them and I don't even want to think of what they are dirty with.

Minds are racing now, what are the other airports that I can get into and who would be willing to drive to come get us. Reno! That is like a 5 hour drive from Grants Pass which is where my dad is. I call dad, "Dad, if I can get into Reno, can you come get us?"

"Nope, I have no power in the trailer and we are leaving at 10am tomorrow morning. Good luck, see ya on Sunday."

Yea, if we make it...

It is 7p and the last Friday flight leaves at 830p. No chance to make it and it is guaranteed we won't make Saturdays. The lady behind the counter said..."I have never seen anything like this before. It is just crazy. Ha ha..."

AHHHHHHHH FROG!!!

Ring...Ring...it's Jaime.

"What about Fresno? The flights has 20 something seats open and leaves in 45 minutes" she says.

"Fresno? How far away from Grants Pass is Fresno?"

"0h, six hours south or so...just below Sacremento."

"that's not too bad. Who's gonna pick us up is the problem."

"Who cares, at least you won't be in DFW anymore."

"True..." Yes, I did say that. "Oh, let me call Tim. (my brother) He is back in GP and I bet he would love a roadtrip."

Ring Ring...no answer on Tim's phone. Frog.

Who else can I call... ooo oooo, Laura, my BFF. I wonder if she has plans tonight?

Ring...Ring...no answer. She is still at work though, let me call back so if she heard her phone, she knows it's important.

Ring...Ring.."Hey, what's up?"

"HEY! I am so glad you answered...what are you doing?"

"Workin, what about you?"

"What are you doin tonight?"

"Going to work out?"

"Anything else?"

"No?"

"You up for a road trip?"

"Where to?"

"Fresno?"

"What???"

I explained our plight and she said sure. Quick end to the story, we got on the flight, that ended up being delayed for an hour spent the night in Fresno that ended up being 8 hours away, not 6. Drove to Grants Pass on Saturday. I got to have dinner with my brother and I got to see my Grandpa who was not having a good day. Was yelled out to get my girls out of there by another elderly man, over and over again, till I finally took the girls out. That was hard. I got to see my aunt on Sunday morning and my sister picked me up at her house and we left for the coast. whew!

Come back for more, there is plenty to tell!

Until we read again...

Charismatic's church observations

2009-06-14T09:02:00.003-05:00

I went to my first Charismatic church last night. It was an incredibly moving experience. Don't get me wrong, whispering tongues was a little strange for me because I have never actually been in the midst of it like that before, but you could almost feel the tangibility of the Holy Spirit moving amongst this small group of people.

So this is a small church in Joshua that is about the same size as CJ. No one was afraid to call out to the Lord (and there was a lot of that.) No one was afraid to raise their hands in worship. No one was afraid to clap or cry or just "be" with the Lord. Everyone did something a little different. There was complete joy in the Lord. Wow.

The worship team was incredible. The lead singers were sisters. One was sixteen and the other was probably 20ish. Their voices were, well, I can't quite explain it. They were awesome, almost bringing me to tears. You know the girl who sings the Revelation Song, well like that, times 2. They weren't singing to lead the singing, they were singing because they loved the Lord. It was like we weren't even there. One of the songs was written by one of the girls and her husband. It was called Who Do You Think That I Am? I wish I would have written down all the words because it was moving. It talks about who God is, beauty, sovereign, savior, then it talks about what God is, Now, right Now. During the song, the older sister went and picked up her newborn baby and stood in front of the church singing the song with all her heart, tears streaming down her face. When the song was over, she took the baby back to her mom. My friend leaned over to me and told me that the baby was not supposed to be here. She said that in her 4th month, she started miscarrying the baby. The doctors and nurses told her that there was nothing they could do to stop it and they needed to be prepared for the loss. That night, she got up in the middle of the night and was praying and took communion and asking God for a miracle to save His child. She said that God came down and she felt His presence. She said that she felt a touch on her head that sent chills down her and a voice that said, "Who touched me?" When she went to the doctor the next week the doctors were astounded and couldn't figure it out, but everything was fine and normal. She said that the doctors asked her, "Who touched you?" She and her husband wrote the song to give God the glory for the miracle He gave them.

Wow.

I feel like I need to say something about the preaching, but I wasn't there for a preacher, it was a guest speaker. He spoke about his travels and the miracles he has seen and there were some big ones. He talked about how God's church has fallen away from signs and wonders, but they are still very real and can happen. He said that when God performs a miracle in your life, He marks you as His. He is tangibly claiming you as His own. He said that when it happens, it is a token of His reality. It is a manifestation of who He is, perfect in every way. I never thought of it like that, but it's true.

Wow.

When I left, I felt like I was glowing from being in the presence of the Lord. I felt warm all over, walking on air. I think that there is something to say for an unadulterated love and passion for the Lord. There is something in being able to show it and not feeling like you are crazy or everyone is staring. There is something to say for just being able to "soak in His presence" with other people. I was fired up for God when I left. I was ready to start preaching the gospel and I think had I had a chance to run out and talk to the lost, boy, there would have been some savin last night. But, I should be on fire like that all the time. I think if people could bottle that feeling and flow in it all the time, wow, how awesome life would be. Praisin and preachin baby!

So, I say all this to say, we should be in a constant relationship with God. We should be constantly looking for the Hand of God. We should be looking to keep the fire flaming, not just sparked. God wants us to live like that. He wants us to be on fire for Him. He has soooo many blessings waiting for us, that they are overflowing because we aren't where we need to be or aren't even asking for them.

So today, I challenge you to turn inward and upward and let God fan your flame and start a bonfire. Ask Him to pour out your blessings and look for opportunities to pour out some on someone else. If you share, He will increase yours and you can share more. Be faithful. Stay in His word. He will keep all the promises that he gives. He is faithful.

Be blessed,
Until we read again...

A lot can happen in a month...

2009-06-05T07:57:00.004-05:00

First off, I would like to apologize to those who enjoy reading my blogs.(If there is anyone out there... :-) I am sorry. I realized today that it has been over a month since my last post at the end of April. Wow. I have had so many things happen and going on that it is nearly impossible to tell you all of it. I wasn't sure where to start, so I just didn't.

I started out May with the excitement that it was the last month till school got out. It was exciting and mindblowing. Where did the year go again? I just can't remember...

1May - We started out the month with Jessi performing in her last ballet and tap performance for Cinco De Mayo and she did fabulous! She of course was the tallest one. I have pics on my other computer, but I am on my laptop right now, so I will try to add those later.

2May - We went to the most awesome Christian concert called Come Worship Ignite and it was 5 minutes from my house. We saw David Crowder Band and Chris Tomlin, among a few others. There was thunderstorms, tornado warnings, rain, rain, cleansing rain (that was for you Amber...), but the only thing that happened was it got better! Did I say it was AWESOME!

7May - I got to enjoy an allday fieldtrip with Catie and Miranda. I was celebrated at Jessi's preschool for Mother's Tea and it was wonderful because I got some special time with Jessica.

9May - I registered Jessica, my last child for kindergarten. That was tough. It hit me that she is it. Next fall, all 3 of my girls will be in school. I thought I would be excited, but when they took her back for the testing, tears started swelling in my eyes and I knew what it would feel like when I take my baby to class for the first day of school. I will actually be crying at the Boo Hoo Breakfast. Ho hum. Tears swell in my eyes just thinking about it.

10May - Mothers Day. Nuff said. It was wonderful! The girls got me a sweet card that played music and recorded their voices saying, "I love you Mommy". James lets the girls pick out their own gifts so I got, a Wii game from Catie (M and M racing), a vase and some pretty fake flowers, "so they won't die Mommy," from Jessica and Miranda picked out a red pot "because it's your favorite color and you can make tea in it Mommy." So sweet and thoughtful too, all of them!
So, at church there was a video and a beautiful song they did. The video was a slide show of pictures of the church moms with thier kids. It hit me that there was only one picture of me with my girls and it was from 2005. I never let anyone take my picture, so how could there be any. I was saddened for my girls. My own pride had taken that away from my girls. After letting it eat me up for the rest of the day, I decided that I was not going to do that anymore. God loves me just the way I am and my girls would love to have pictures with their mom. That was a tough lesson to learn the hard way. If you are reading this and you hate getting your picture taken, stop it. You are being selfish and if something happens to you, you want people to have pictures to go back and remember you with. That was the next lesson that I learned.

Later that day, my dad called me to wish me a happy Mothers Day. I asked him how my Grandma was doing. A few weeks before she had had a stroke. Dad said that hospice had been brought in and the nurse had said that she probably would last only 1-3 more months. I was in shock. My Grandma had only been in the nursing home for a few months. My Grandpa had been in for almost a year. He had some dementia issues and was put into this home that was a specialist in those types of issues. Grandma didn't really need to be in that type of home, but my dad wanted them to be together. I could go into all those details, but that would make this long blog even longer, so I won't.

12May - Catie had her first choir competition. We got to go out to Sandy Lake Amusement Park in North Dallas. It was great. It was a nice day too. Lots of sun and her choir got 2nd place. Yea! Oh, I forgot to tell you, my dad called me that morning about 7am our time and told me that Grandma passed away at about 530a our time. (there is a 2 hour time difference between Oregon and here.) So in the midst of Catie's wonderful time, I was trying to figure out, do I go home or do I stay here. When is the funeral, what is the plan?

The funeral was going to be the next week on Thursday. I knew that I would not be able to go due to both of my little one graduating that week and Catie had her first out of town field trip to NASA Johnson Space Center in Houston. My mom was going to go with her, but I still wanted to be in town. I decided to get on a plane at
6pm so that I could drive home and be with my dad and sister. Dad was going to wait on the cremation so that on Thursday we could have a viewing and I could say goodbye.

14May - Saying goodbye to grandma. That was surreal. I have never actually looked at a body before. She looked peaceful. She looked skinny. She didn't look like grandma. Just thinking about this is hard for me because it just hit me yesterday when I saw a picture of her that that is all I have left. Pictures. Grandma and I loved each other, but we were never very close. She always had a special thing for my sister. I guess I was always jealous of that. The last few times I have seen her though, she had softened towards me and we actually got spent time together playing cards. Grandma loved to play Kings on the Corner. She has had some memory issues for a long time. All she wanted to do anymore was play cards. Grandpa (before he took a turn for the worse) and Aunt Bonnie were so sick of playing cards that when I came and offered to play they were so thankful! It was nice. That is a special memory that I will always have of Grandma because she loved me playing cards with her. It made her so happy.

So, that brings me to happy part of my trip home that week. I got to see my grandpa. My dad had told me that Grandpa didn't really respond to anyone anymore. He just sat there and was not really there. He said sometimes he would respond with a simple head nod or yes or no, but Dad didn't believe he was sure what he was responding to. Grandpa and I were so close, so I couldn't believe that. I refused to believe that. Without making this too much like a book, long story short, Grandpa did respond to me. Grandpa did talk to me. It wasn't a whole conversation and it was slow and choppy, but he did. He even told me "I love you too." He made eye contact with me and I could see he was there and wanted to say so much more, but couldn't make it all connect to work from brain to mouth. My dad even witnessed some of it. He was so shocked and happy that we decided to take grandpa to the house he built and lived in for like 40 years. Grandpa was so glad to be there. He sat in his chair and yelled at the dogs to, "Shut up!" just like he always did. When we were out side, he picked up his hand and pointed at the dogs who were sniffing the cars and said, "Look at those dogs." It was totally awesome. I told dad that Grandpa was still in there and that he needed stimulation. He needed to be talked to and to made to use his brain to get it firing again. I hope dad does it. I told Grandpa before I left that I would be back and I would bring the girls with me because they really wanted to see him. He smiled and nodded his head. Nuff said about that. It makes me want to cry some more to think about all that.

16May - Catie was in her first wedding out in East Texas. She was the flower girl. She did great, it was beautiful. Jessica went and all she wanted to do was, "hug the princess." (the bride). Does that surprise anyone???

18May - Miranda graduates from Kindergarten. Wow. Can't believe it. Cried again. Go figure.

21May - Jessica graduates PreKindergarten. Wow. Can't belive it. Cried again. Go figure. Catie makes it home from Houston safe and sound with my mom. Had a great time. Thank you God!

30May - Catie gets her softball trophy, Yea! Miranda gets to show us all the new and awesome tricks she has learned in gymnastics and gets a medal. Yeah! She learned so much so quick and improved SSSSSSOOOOOO much so quick! Wow. Cried again.

4Jun - Schools out. Summer time begins. Swim season. A new season. Everyday is a new day to begin again.

What I learned this month. Kids grow up quick. Enjoy them while they still want to enjoy being with you. Let people take your picture. You never know when that is all they will have to remember you with. Love your family. Always tell everyone that you love them, all the time. You never know when it will be the last time. Love your friends. They will be there with you to pick you up when you fall.

I know this is late too, but to those that helped James when I was gone to Oregon, Thank you so much. I know that it was a pain, but I am so grateful. I knew that my family was taken care of and that is one thing I didn't need to worry about. I love you all so much!

So, all that being said... God put something on my heart last week and when I work out the details, I will be posting it soon. Be ready... :-)
Be blessed, until we read again...

Marathons and sprint writing

2009-04-27T09:27:00.004-05:00

Well, I am sure most of you heard about James. I can officially say that I am married to a marathoner now. He ran his first marathon and it was brutal. The weather was the hottest it had ever been since they started the race 10 years ago (right after the OKC bombing). It was in the mid 70's and it the wind was blowing anywhere from 20-30 miles an hour. It was brutal. The previous high temperature was only 53 last year.

The race started at 630am and there were 20K people downtown. 19K were running one of the races. His race took almost 15 minutes for all the runners to cross the start line. It was an incredible sight. I, being the sweet weenie that I am, ran/walked the 5k at 645am. It took me a whole 43 minutes to cross my finish line, at which time, I walked town to the memorial and took in the awe of it. If you haven't had the chance to go, you should. It is beautiful and you can sense the presence of God in it.

After that, about 8ish, I walked back up to about a 2 and a half blocks before the finsih line and waited. And waited. And waited. Oh, and waited. I finally saw James' friend, Robert, who was doing the half marathon and ran down the 2 blocks to catch up with him and show him where I was. His wife was doing her first marathon too. So then we waited. And waited. And waited some more. (Long day of waiting ever.) By this time, James other friend who was running the marathon, Raj, well his brother had come with us too. He finally made it to where we were so it was Robert, Suresh and myself now. Waiting.

I got a phone call at 1020am from a 405 number. I normally don't answer numbers I don't recognize, but it hit me, it might be one of the medical tents calling about James, so I answered it. It was James. He was way behind schedule due to running into the 30 mile an hour wind and he was only at mile 22. We all did the math and figured it be another 40 or so minutes. So we waited. And waited. Finally, at 1110am, 4 hours and 40 minutes after the start, we saw James. I was so excited I almost cried. I ran out and he ran over to me and gave me a big sweaty kiss! (he was really sweaty!) An hour or so after that, Roberts wife finished hers and about 45 minutes or so after that, Raj finished. He was hurting bad, but he finished. He is really tall and was already having some knee issues prior to that, but he finished! Yea!

So it was a long day, but it was well worth it and I am now offically married to a marathoner. yea!!! Oh and we checked the times on the internet last night and James finished in the top half of marathoners. The average finish time was 4 hours and 51 minutes. Last year, with the temperature at 53, the average finish was 4 hours 30 minutes, so you can see how much weather plays a part in a person's ability to perform. He did pretty darn good for a first timer huh???

ps....no pictures are attached because James did not want his misery kept forever on camera. :-)

So, Sprint writing. Awhile back, I entered a 24 hour writing contest for Saturday. The way it works was you get a topic and word count at 12n on Saturday and have 24 hours to turn it in. I didn't get the topic till about 2pm due to wifi issues and we were in the car on our way to OKC. (I was getting carsick trying to type.) When we got to the hotel, I spent about an hour or so writing my 900 word story during the Mavs game. We went to dinner, then got back about 830p. I spent about 45 minutes editing it and turned it in. Whew...what a Saturday that was... I should find out how I did in a month or so. The contest was limited to 500 writers and they are giving out 85 prizes, so hopefully, I will win something. Wish me luck. Also, the silent character contest I entered on the 15Apr, well I should find out on 4May if I won or not.

Until we read again...
wt

My nine year streak is OVER...

2009-03-29T15:39:00.004-05:00

Well, I finally had to take one of my girls to the ER for stiches. Poor Jessica had a meeting with a mean old ceiling fan on top of a bunk bed at a friends house. Don't worry, there was a lot of blood, but she was a trooper. In fact, when I got back to my friends house (in like 2 minutes...) the only one's left crying were Miranda, Catie and Torie. Jessi wasn't crying anymore, till she saw me of course.

We went to the ER and only had to wait about 10 minutes in the waiting room, it was a head wound you know. We were in and out in about, oh, 3 hours. Thankfully Jumanji was on ABC Family and we got to watch that. She didn't cry at all while the doctor did the stiches. She held my hand and when he was done, she had a big smile on her face. She wanted her milkshake.

We went to TGI Fridays for dinner and our waitress was so sweet that she had the manager comp all the kids some ice cream for dessert. So, here are some pictures for you if you are interested. She got 7 stiches and the doctor took about 30 minutes to get it done, just to make sure he did it right.

Don't be scared by her evil eyes...she was trying to be funny and the other pics I took wouldn't come out. She really is sweet. :-)

You can see in the pictures that she had another scratch, that was the second swipe of the next blade, but Catie grabbed her and pulled her back before it got a good whack at her. Thank you Catie!

Kingdom Dog Isaiah 40:31 - video Awesome!

2009-03-27T07:15:00.003-05:00

One of my friends emailed me this video and I had to share it. It is awesome. Especially if you love God and dogs...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKohJ1k4oKA

Enjoy -
Until we read again...

Another dream...cautionary tale

2009-03-20T08:05:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I woke up this morning with the overwhelming feeling that I needed to share this as soon as possible.

I dreamed that I went back to work at my old job in a call center. It was different. The building was the same. The view was the same, but the inside had been remodeled. At first, of course, I had difficulty getting around, but as I walked and worked, it got easier. Most of the readers I have will know that the place I worked before was filled with darkness. I walk in Marvelous Light now, so I could see all the darkness and it could see me. It followed me around, tempting me and trying to be my friend. I would try to hide from it, but it still came. It knew where I was.

After drinking some water, I left the building. I wanted to run away, but I didn't. Instead, I flew. Me, the fraidy cat of heights flew away and it was awesome! I was with 2 other people, but I can't remember who they were. Two of the dark folks followed me too. They wanted to be my friend. I just wanted to get away from them. We stopped in an old town grocery store. You know, the ones in the back country's that look like wooden buildings that were built in the 1800's? I ran into the delivery garage in the back of the store. I was frantically searching for a water bottle. I found one, but it was empty and dirty. I tried to clean it out, but the water was gross. I kept thinking, I have to have some clean water or I won't be able to fly. Next thing I know, the dark people found me. They wanted to "help" me. I told them no and tried to fly away. I guess I got a drink of the dirty water because I flew, but it didn't last long. I saw a clean pool below me and thought of falling into that, but I kept going. I saw some ponds too, but didn't fall into those. Instead, I dropped next to a large puddle of dirty musky muddy water. The dark people behind me stopped to help me. I knew I was dying and they just sat there and patted me on the back and told me it would be okay.

That was when I woke up. Folks, let me tell you what I believe was being shown to me in this dream. I told you a little about my old job. The new me, the one alive in Christ, see old things through new lenses. (although I am not that new anymore, that is what God used to show me this lesson.) I went back to my old job and seeing it in new lenses it looked different and it was filled with darkenss. The longer you walk in darkness, the easier it gets to see. That also makes it easier for darkness to be around you. I guess I realized it and wanted out. I hid and then for some odd reason, I drank water. I know weird, but listen to this... In my dream experience and reading several books and even confirmation in the bible, water signifies the cleansing in the Holy Spirit. Water is cleansing in a baptism and makes things clean and new. I walked out the door expecting to run and started flying. Flying signifies freedom that we don't have without God in our lives. (Again, these are my opinions in my experiences.)

So, now let me get right to the point of why I need to tell you this. I believe that God was telling me to get His messages from His word and not always from people who say they are teaching His word. Such as preachers on TV. Have you ever noticed that some preachers don't even open the bible when they are giving you suggestions on how to live your life? Oh, it's there, but they don't ask you to use yours. That is dirty water. Have you ever read an article in a "religious" magazine or book and they tell you all these wonderful things, but never tell you where they found it in the bible? That is dirty water. I believe God wants us to get back to his clean fresh water of life which is His word, the Bible. I believe that God can do wonderful things with us. Things that are as freeing as flying, if we just open up His word and let Him give us revelation. I think that it is too easy to rely on other imperfect people to tell us what His word says instead of diving into it ourselves. You know what that is? Well, it's just plain LAZY. In the court of law, isn't it hearsay to quote someone else when you are on the stand? Doesn't that make it inadmissable in the court of law? Why? Do you want to go to the judgment seat when you die and tell God that you only did what _______ said you were supposed to do? Have you ever played the game telephone with a bunch of kids? Start with Mama ate Papa's peanut butter sandwich and end up with Mama caught Papa stealing a lunch box. Get my drift? That could be what is happening to God's word. It is being distorted. Even if the person preaching the word is an awesome man of God, you need to be writing those scriptures down and looking them up yourself to make sure they weren't taken out of context. If he didn't quote scripture, you need to go ask him where he came up with that lesson? Ask him for the scriptures? God will give you a little nudge if that was truly His word that was spoken. He is faithful.

So, I guess this was a cautionary tale. I am not preaching, by the way. I am asking you to simply get into His word and have Him show you what, He showed me. I know that I need to be delving into His word more and stop relying on TV preachers to teach it to me. I hope that someone else out there needed to hear this message. I felt it so important that I didn't even go through my email when I opened my computer before I started typing this. Okay, well, I did peek at one. The evil one sure is a good tempter...

Be Blessed, until we read again...

Basking in the Son

2009-03-04T11:19:00.003-06:00

Do you ever have those weeks when God is giving you stuff so quick it just is too hard to keep up? This past week has been one of those for me. I keep trying to tell Him that I need to come up for air, but I am drowning in his glory. Have you ever heard that you need to be careful what you pray for? Well, I have been praying for God to let me see people and myself as he sees me and he has answered it in ways I haven't fully grasped yet. It's like, I know it, but I can't put it into words. Yes, me being a writer, stumped for words... go figure.

So what I realized is there is sadness all around me. I watch people and can see that they are hiding behind masks. I do too and it makes me sad. They long for acceptance or forgiveness. They long for unconditional love. A love that is so uncharacteristic of the love that they receive in their lives, that if they did have it, it would be so forgein that they would never fully benefit from it. That love can only come from God and sin has blanketed their lives makes it nearly impossible for them to see it.

This past week has been a flurry of events. I don't want to elaborate at this time because I am not sure what to do with all the info yet. I'm still processing. What I have been so excited about though is that I have been writing like a fool this week. All kinds of things. Usually the Holy Spirit gives me words at the most inopportune times. Like when I am outside jogging, when I am driving or even in the shower. (Do they make anything water proof for the shower yet?) So this time, when words started to hit me, I was sitting in the middle of church. I was so tired because I had just had a surgical procedure done on Wednesday and then went and WALKED the Cowtown 5K on Saturday while my husband was doing the half marathon. Yes, I know it was silly, but I did it anyway. I did not overdo it, don't worry. Anyway, I was sitting in church so tired I could barely stay awake, so I closed my eyes to listen to the pastor talk and really hear his words. All of a sudden, I had to start writing. It was the craziest feeling ever. I popped my eyes open and started franticly looking for something to write with, of course, I didn't have my purse or any paper. I found the closest thing, an info card that my six year old had drawn pictures on and started writing like a fool all around her pictures. I drew arrows to follow the words and wrote over the hearts that weren't colored in. It was incredible. I just wrote.

When I was done, I realized what it was all about. God IS love. All this week he was showing me what people were missing. If we could just love people like he loves us. I felt warm and fuzzy. Like I was basking in the sun. (Hence the blog title.) I would tell you what I wrote, but I think it was for me to understand what God is, then try to share. God is love. He is the feeling between two people that is real. He is the voice in your head that tells you things, like not to sin, go talk to that person, read your bible or you need to apologize, you get the picture. People call it intuition, but it is God.

Just think for a moment, if we all functioned the way God created us to, following our intuitions (ie. Holy Spirit), we would always be showing love. God created man in HIS image. They even talked about it in The Shack, (if you haven't read it yet, read it). His image is the image of love. It encompasses everything. The beauty of the blooming trees. Those fluttering butterflies you get when you meet your soul mate. The crying of a newborn baby. The feeling, the actions, it's all about the love. In the beginning God was love and he created someone to share that with. So, I believe inherently, we all know that there is more than the Big Bang. Why do you think that in peoples most desperate moments, they cry out to something or someone they don't even believe in? Because deep down, they know love and they know he is the answer. They are just too proud to admit it.

Everytime we share love we share a piece of God. Everytime, he fills in the missing piece. That is why we can continue to love one another. That is why when we have another child, we can love them just as much as the first one. The more you give the more you get. Therefore, that intangible faith that we have in a God that we can't actually see or feel is truly tangible. We see and feel him everyday through the people we share our lives with. Each piece of nature surrounds us and that is Gods way of showing love to us. If we follow that little voice in our heads, the Holy Spirit will always lead us the love way and ever a-way.

God is love and he is the true foundation of our lives, whether we profess to believe it or not.
It is. He is. The best way to learn to love others better is to learn to let others love us. That includes the God of the universe, whose only wish is that we would love him above all other things. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

So, throw away that sunscreen and come bask in the Son with me, there are plenty of chairs.
I promise, you won't get burned.

Until we read again...
wt

Disney on Ice discount code for Fort Worth and Dallas shows

2009-03-03T08:50:00.003-06:00

Hey all, I have a discount code that will get you 4 tickets to Disney on Ice for $44.00! I know some of you would enjoy that with your kiddos and you can't beat the price. If you need more than 4, like me, they will also let you purchase extras for the same $11.00.

Go to www.ticketmaster.com and enter the coupon code: MOM

Here are the dates and times for the shows:

Dallas shows -
Mar 18, 19 @ 730p
Mar 20 @ 1030a or 730p
Mar 21 @ 1130a or 330p
Mar 22 @ 130p or 530p

Fort Worth shows are -
Mar 26 @ 730p
Mar 27 @ 1030a or 730p
Mar 28 @ 130p or 530p
Mar 29 @ 230p

And don't worry, that real post that I promise to post is coming. I am still formulating my thoughts.
Until we read again,
wt

Chart for Stress

2009-03-01T13:26:00.002-06:00

I got this from a friend and thought I would share. I will be posting a real post tomorrow, but for those of you interested, here is something to tide you over.
Until we read again,
wt

A Chart for Stress

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you (John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

cool personality test

2009-01-18T17:46:00.003-06:00

I found this website that has a test for what type of spiritual person you are. You should check it out when you get a chance. Here is the website - http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/test.asp?act=test

This was my outcome...does it sound like me or what?

You are a Lover, a feeling type, whose spirituality comes primarily from the heart or emotions. You value freedom, independence, and spontaneity. Along with your gift of enthusiasm, you show us how to have fun and appreciate beauty. More than any other type, you know how to experience joy. This puts you in a unique position to experience God in the moment, to revel in what is happening around you, and to be in the present tense.

To Lovers, God is a nurturing parent. Prayer for you is often extemporaneous, speaking to God about what is on your heart at the moment. Music moves you deeply; so does heartfelt preaching and worship. You believe that real faith must be shared. Consequently, many Lovers are interested in missions or in spreading the Gospel through the media. You are passionate about holy living.

On the other hand, a Lover's impulsive behavior can get you in trouble. You sometimes focus on satisfying immediate desires to the detriment of investing in longer term needs. You have been known to exude a "holier-than-thou" attitude toward other spiritual types. That does not endear you to us. Guard against thinking that to be right everyone else must share a spiritual experience similar to yours. You also may need permission to acknowledge anger, disappointment, sadness, and doubt, and to allow yourself to be less than ideal.

Crazy huh? Anyway, have some fun today and see what you are like.

Once you are done with the test, find the next part, how to pray as you are.
http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/prayermethods/praying.asp

If you are interested, you can follow through with the rest of the things the page suggests, learning how each type prays. It is quite interesting and revealing, at least in my opinion. If you still have time when you are done and are interested, feel free to share what you learned about yourself on my comments section.

Until we read again...

Things to do for 2009

2009-01-12T12:45:00.002-06:00

I like to do the yearly resolutions. Usually I have several and usually, I just forget about them halfway through the year.

HOWEVER, last year, I wanted to get healthy and I did. I lost about 20 lbs and am feeling much better. I can get into about half my closet now and I am so excited.

SO, this year, I want to lose another 20 lbs. I want to be even healthier and I want to take better care of myself, for my girls. T Girls Rock, by the way, if you didn't know that already!

I want to smile more and yell less. I told one of my girls in the car today that if you want people to change how they treat you, you have to change how you treat them. I think that is a good lesson for me too and for everyone. We can be upset because someone did this or that, or even you wish someone would do this or that, but I think that in order to get, you gotta give. It is always so nice to give. It makes your heart feel good to know that you helped make someone smile. My prayer would be that God helps me change to be a better person. I guess to sum up this, I want to be a better wife and mother. To have a tangible goal... I don't have a clue how to measure this. Any suggestions would be great!

I want to write more. In order to be a better writer, I have to write. So, I have been writing once or twice a week in a journal. My goal will be to make that 3 times a week. It sure will be great at the end of the year to see where God has taken me.

I would like to let God lead me where He wants me to go and not where I want to go.

I want to intentionally seek out peace and harmony. My life tends to get carried away in chaos, whether it be letting the girls go crazy, in turn driving me crazy or letting the laundry get out of control and driving me crazy. Either way, I feel out of sync. I need to find a place in my head where I can just let Him have it and not try to control everything, because that is the illusion, we don't have control of anything, but what is in our head. (thank you to Jurassic Park for that, oh so true, line).

So those are the things I want to work on this 2009. 2008 was great, but 2009 is going to be sublime! :-)

Peace and love to all of you....
Until we read again!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T01:12:00.002-06:00

Hello to all my friends and family! I just want to tell everyone to have a blessed year! We are praying that we will and you will too.

May God's greatest blessings be showered upon you and may your year be the best yet! Good tidings to you and your kin!

wt

Newest member of the family

2008-12-15T09:55:00.007-06:00

I would like to introduce the newest member of our family - Charlie.

She is a wonderful, energetic, little thing. (or huge as James would like to call her.) She is long and she reminds me of the weiner dog on Toy Story that is a slinky. When she goes around a corner, her back half is moving a different direction till it catches up. She is a hoot! It is hard to get mad at her because she gives you those sad, "I'm sorry Mom" eyes...

She is great with the kids, great with the dogs, great with the cat, sort of. Angel (our cat) likes to chase Charlie and scare her. I guess Angel just wants to make sure Charlie knows who the alpha female in the house is.

Anyway, she is a beautiful dog and we are happy to have her.

I am a Novelist!

2008-11-26T08:27:00.003-06:00

Well folks, for those of you who are interested in my writing Journey, the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) was a success. I finished a 103 page book with 50085 words last night about 1015pm. What a huge relief and the feeling of success is overwhelming. Most of the times the words just came and I can't even remember some of what I wrote.

All that said, there is still a lot of work to do on my first ROUGH draft, but I think the story is a good one. Of course I am biased. I will start that probably after the holidays, if I can wait. :-)

Anyway, I just wanted to share this in my blog sphere. I have some trophies to share too!

The aftermath...

2008-11-10T08:23:00.007-06:00

Pain, Pain and More Pain.... It was fun too... Did I forget to mention the pain? I was so beaten up by mud and nets and dirt and Stairway to Heaven that wobbled 20 feet high, that I couldn't even bare the thought of getting on the computer to give you the down low on the mud.

I am supposed to be writing a book right now, but I am taking this short moment to share some pics that my mom took after we got done. Let me tell you, we all looked so pretty before the race. Oh and we didn't come in last. That is always a plus. Story goes like this...

We start off and there is a long stretch of running...(mostly walking for us, I felt bad for James.) It is James, Chris and me. I think it was 1.6 miles to the first obstacle, which was the Wall. It was about 6 or 7 feet tall. You have to climb it and go over. I did it! Wa hoo for me...first one down and no mud yet.

We get to the next obstacle 100 foot tunnel, cool. No problem, no mud yet. Slide right on through.

There there is the English channel. 100 yards of water and mud. That was fun because there wasn't much mud, but a lot of muddy water. Silly Chris walked in front of me with his white shirt and I decided that I had to take big hard steps. He got a little muddy. :-) That was fun. There were individuals that were coming by us the opposite way, a couple of them were being funny and "swimming" instead of walking in the thigh deep water. We were laughing at them.

Obstacle 3, um....there's the mud...ewwww. Can I back out now? It is thick and gross. Are you sure I can't back out. There is a line and I have to watch everyone go down and lay on their stomach for a Marine crawl under the wires. One by one...then it's my turn. EWWWWW...Did I already say that? Not only that, there was a drill sargent their yelling at everyone, threatening to send us all back to do it over if we don't get down. No thanks, stomach it is. Oh, yea, it's going straight down my shirt getting caught in my sports bra. That was fun.

In the midst of all that, there were a couple of water stops too...no cups. Wonderful!

Obstacle 4, log walk. No mud, thank you Lord! It was like walking across a log. No problem for me, I have great balance. Whew!

Obstacle 5, Mine field. It was basically like the Marine crawl above except for it was only 2 lanes, one going each direction and it was not as muddy...more like sticky mud. Still gross.

Obtacle 6, Cargo Nets...ever heard of Gladiators! It was a net up one side, thrown over the top of the bar on top then hanging down the other side. Kind of like a triangle. Yup, I climbed up about 15 feet to the top and got stuck. Couldn't get my leg over because I was looking at it swinging in front of me on the other side....James had to grab the bottom of the net and pull it straight to get my legs back under me. I got over and scooted on down and yes, I conquered a small portion of my fear of heights and I did the happy dance in front of about 100 folks standing in line on the other side and sang out loud, "I did it, I did it!" Yea for me... I heard a couple folks laugh, but I think it was James and Chris! Thanks guys for your support! :-)

Obstacle 7 - Hole to Hades... run down steep grass into concrete ravine, and back out the other side. The cheat sheet said steep, but they didn't lead me to believe that it was a trap, mice can get in, but they can't get out. Thank goodness my awesome husband could, because he helped pull me and Chris out! :-) Thanks babe!

Obstacle 8...Called the Quigley...I don't even remember this one, but it was a Marine crawl one too. I am sure it was muddy and gross...from here on out, I think they were all gross...

Obstacle 9 - The mud slide... Wa hoo! Got to bipass this one due to someone injured in the mud pit on the other side of the slide. Sorry dude who got hurt, but thank you.

Obstacle 10 - Slide for life....You climb probably 100 feet to the top of a moutain of dirt and slide down on plastic into a huge pit of water and mud. It reminded me of a waterslide, with dirt instead of water... math lesson for the day, water + dirt = mud ... in your shirts and shoes and ears and pants pockets and nails and nose and eyes...I think you get the picture. If you didn't have it everyone before this point, (which I did) you did now. Then you get to sludge out of it and try to climb the mud wall, not hill, to get out. Again, thank you to James for saving me from the pit of hell.

Obstacle 11 - Over n Unders - Imagine, 4 logs hanging about 3 inches above the water. In order to proceed through this, one must go over one log and under the next...whichever order it doesn't matter. I think I forgot to mention that there was a tv crew on the course filming for a tv show...well lucky me, they caught me on this one. My worst most embarassing one. Please God, let the edit crew cut me. I am not that cute... Anyway, I jump in and realize the water is deeper than I thought...it is just above my waist. I go under the first one, over the next, sort of, I kinda threw a leg up and pulled as hard as I could till I splashed over. Under the next one and the last one was a bit higher and lucky me, I get to over over it. I guess I did the math wrong and wasn't paying attention to the height. After a couple of tries, I got over it, camera spying me the whole time...then realized that I couldn't get a hold of anything to help me get out. The wall to this pool of mud was flat. I started to panic, since the camera was in my face my this time and the marine who happened to pick my lane offered to give me a leg up. I rolled out onto my back and got up in the cameras face and smiled really big. I was totally embarassed. Thank goodness for nice guys. James and Chris had come through on the opposite side of the course, so they were waiting on me.... probably they saw the camera and didn't want to be seen with me... just kidding guys!

Obstacle 12, it was supposed to be the tubes, but I don't remember them...

Obstacle 13 - Rope swing...I would call it the rope drag though. It was so muddy you couldn't hold on, you just slid right on down.

Obstacle 14 - The Stairway to Heaven. Actually it was a ladder from Hell. It was about 20 feet tall with the wooden 2x4 ladder rungs about 4 feet apart. The area you had to climb up with about 10 feet wide and each section had 4 areas. I headed for an open one and turned my fear of heights off by saying, don't think just do, don't think just do. I couldn't get my foot situated on the rung, so I decided to throw my knee up then stand up from there. That was how I got to the top. Once safely at the top, my feet strattling the ladder, my arms wrapped tightly around the top piece, I realized that there were other people also moving up and they were making it sway in the wind. I looked down and the only thing that would catch my fall were some small foam pads strewn about the ground. There was lots of open areas and I thought to myself, what if I hit there...it might hurt there. I came back to reality and the guy next to me was coaching his wife, "C'mon honey you can do it. We are almost there." I pretended he was James talking to me and I moved my other leg over and got down as quickly and safely as I could. Whew. When I got out of the way of the other participants, once again, I did a happy dance and threw a couple of jumps in, I did it, I did it... whew, I was still alive.

Obstacle 15 - Hurdles. Big logs, gotta go over them and they get higher as you go. I needed help on the last one, but I did those too. Did I ever tell you that boots are heavy when they are wet???

The last 3 obstacle were the same as we already have done, but on the way back, you are wet, cold, tired and muddy.

Obstacle 16 was the low crawl with all the mud and the mean drill sargent that was waiting for you to screw up so he could send you back. I was so tired by this time, I almost didn't care, almost. Most of the water was gone by that time, so it was sticky mud and sticky mud is hard to get your body to move through...did you know that.

Obstacle 17 was the tunnel. It was easier this time, because we were wet, you could just slide right on through.

Back to the English Channel. 100 yards of mud and water. It was so hard, I thought it would never end. James had booked it on ahead of us through it, but Chris and I could barely walk. I remembered thinking back to when we went through it the first time, there were people "swimming" through it. Now I know why and I felt bad for laughing. I was so tired, I wanted to cry, but we kept trudging through it.

Right on to obstacle 18. The Wall. This time, I was so tired, I didn't know if I could get my leg up to go over it. Thanks to one of the kids watching the obstacles...young Marines, he gave me a lift up to the first place my foot would stick and I made it over.

Now we just had to make it the rest of the way. James coaxed me into running by trying to beat a couple that was ahead of us. I thought he was talking about the one right in front, we beat them. He was talking about the couple who was in front of them. We almost made it.

I was so proud. I didn't throw up and I didn't cry. I wanted to, several times, but didn't.

My body is killing me now. I have pain in places I didn't know there was pain. I also have bruises in places that I didn't even know I got hurt. They are nasty and ugly. Mud did it. Next time I see mud, I am going to stay way away from it. It is mean and angry and takes out it's affliction on people like me. Stay away from it.

So, with our story being told, only from my perspective, by the way... here are some after pictures. The water bottles we are holding have beer in them, by the way. They had run out of cups. Our finish time was 2 hours and 20 minutes or something like that. There were lots of lines that we had to wait in... seriously. I'm not kidding. Seriously.

Enjoy the pics I will upload the before pics when I geth them from my mom.

Until we read again...

Chris, Steve, James and myself...see how pretty we are?

Um, not so pretty anymore...

We should have done this for our wedding...it would have been cheaper... :-)

Chris trying to be macho... mud is your friend...love the mud...It was drying and shrinking...we needed to be cleaned...unfortuneatly, the fire truck ran out of water before we got to be clean... It was a long drive home.

Mud Run Monsters and more

2008-11-07T09:58:00.003-06:00

So, tomorrow is the big Mud Run. I've got my boots and long pants. I have a black tank top that will not move too much so it won't drag me down. I also have butterflies in my stomach which has set it on fire because they are flying around so fast. I feel like I am going to throw up all the time. Why, you ask? Because part of me thinks I may be in over my head. I think I might actually drown in the mud. Enough scare tactics. God, please give me the strength to 1. Have a good time and not wally in the mud. 2. Have enough energy to finish the race not in last place. 3. Make you and my husband proud. Thank you and Amen.

On the More note,
I have started my writing challenge and almost finished the first week. I have 10002 words as of this morning and I am going to need to hit 12500 to stay on target for goal. My thing is, I am going to have days where I can write and write. Other days, I may not be so lucky. That is where padding comes in. I need to be sure to write whenever I can.

Anyway, I just wanted to update everyone on the goings on in my life. Keep me in your prayers and thank you for your encouragement.

Until we read again...

It's all good, then BAM, right in the kisser!

2008-10-17T09:11:00.002-05:00

I feel like I have been punched in the gut. Yesterday things were flying high and everything was going to be just fine. Today, things are still going to be just fine, but the evil one is crawling all over me trying to smother me. Do you ever feel like that? Like you are wrestling and you're just trying to stay inside the circle, but your opponent is overpowering you and you are about to lose?

Money. Isn't it the root of all evil? That idol is something that I struggle with. Wants and desires. It would be so great to get a __________ with this and that. Wow, wouldn't it be cool to have __________, then everything would be great! I would love to have _____________, it would make my life so much easier. Check out this _____________, if I had a ____________, then I could do __________. Fill in the blanks with anything you want. Everything fits into someones category.

I am an Alderman in our little town, which is basically a council person. We open all our town meetings with a prayer for God to come work through us to do what is best for our town. I think that is awesome. Right now, I am also on the "committee" for our neighborhood group who is working on a gas lease with a local company. We are dealing with HUGE amounts of potential money for close to 400 acres worth of land. I think that myself and one other person are the only Christians on this team. Not once did either of us offer to pray prior to beginning our meetings. God was totally left out of these decisions. Why? I thought about praying more than once. Maybe God even placed it on my heart more than once to say something. Would the other have declined? Probably not, so why didn't I do it. Greed. My eyes were dollar signs and all I could see what the potential for a lot of freaking money. James and I talked about all the good things we would do with it, but I never brought it to God. I knew that once we got that money, everything would be just fine. Now, don't worry, we didn't spend it. We knew there was a possibility that it wouldn't come, but I was sure that that it would.

So, I say all this to say, with the economic downfall, it is pretty much a certainty that the gas company will pull out of their negotiations. That monetary windfall, gone. Is it possible, that due to the fact that we were greedy and left Him out, we are reaping what we sowed? Yes. Is it possible that maybe this would have happened anyway? Yes.

I laid awake last night allowing Satan to take over my thoughts. Tell me how disappointed that God was in me for not standing up when I should have. God was probably disappointed, I am sure, but would He chastise me over it? I don't think so. Maybe this is an "Idol" check for me. I let money get the best of me and I need to remind myself to let God get the best of me and bless me from His side of the green pasture. Whether it be money or not. We are blessed to have EVERYTHING we could possibly need. If we don't get the big green, then so be it. We still have enough and that is fine with me. I am blessed beyond measure.

God, thank you for reminding me of that. Money will not define who I am or what I have. You, alone, will provide for us in ways that we can't even imagine, when we keep our eyes set on you. Thank you Lord, for being the everlasting provider.

Until we read again...

Interesting email on Obama

2008-10-15T08:57:00.002-05:00

For those of you who know me, I am a pretty far right conservative. I can't understand, when I read what Obama is all about, how any Christian would be willing to sacrifice what God's values for the values of Obama? They aren't even close to lining up.

Here is an email I had forwarded to me that is biblically based and states where I stand pretty clearly. I checked out snopes and it is undecided yet who actually wrote it, but the words are very well written and I think should be read by everyone, Obama fan or not. After you read it, if you question the details, take the time to google them and see for yourself if the stated facts are true.

Be blessed, Until we read again...
(Sarah Palin for President 2012!) :-) wt

The following statements are from an email that I received and copied to my post.

Why I (A Black Man) Can't Vote For Obama
Huntley Brown - is a fabulous concert pianist, man of God and is a black man.

Why I Can't Vote For Obama
By Huntley Brown

Dear Friends,

A few months ago I was asked for my perspective on Obama. I sent out an
email with a few points. With the election just around the corner Idecided
to complete my perspective. Those of you on my e-list have seen some of
this before but it's worth repeating..

First I must say whoever wins the election will have my prayer support.
Obama needs to be commended for his accomplishments, but I need to explain
why I will not be voting for him.

Many of my friends process their identity through their blackness.
I process my identity through Christ. Being a Christian (a Christfollower)
means He leads, I follow. I can't dictate the terms. He does because He is the leader.
I can't vote black because I am black, I have to vote Christian because
that's who I am. Christian first, black second. Neither should any one from
the other ethnic groups vote because of ethnicity. 200 years from now I
won't be asked if I was black or white. I will be asked if I knew
Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior.

In an election there are many issues to consider but when a society gets
abortion, same-sex marriage, embryonic stem-cell research,
human cloning, to name a few, wrong economic concerns will soon not matter.
We need to follow Martin Luther King's words, don't judge someone by the
color of their skin but by the content of their character. I don'tknow
Obama, so all I can go off is his voting record.
His voting record earned him the title of the most liberal senator in the
US Senate in 2007.
NATIONAL JOURNAL: Obama: Most Liberal Senator in 2007(01/31/2008)
To beat Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton as the most liberal senator, takes
some doing.
Obama accomplished this feat in 2 short years. I wonder what would happen
to America if he had four years to work with. There is a reason planned
parenthood gives him a 100% rating. There is a reason the homosexual
community supports him. There is a reason Ahmadinejad, Chavez, Castro,
Hamas etc. love him. There is a reason he said he would nominate liberal
judges to the Supreme Court. There is a reason he voted against the
infanticide bill. There is a reason he voted No on the constitutional ban
of same-sex marriage.
There is a reason he voted No on banning partial birth abortion.
There is a reason he voted No on confirming Justices Roberts and Alito.
These two judges are conservatives and they have since overturned partial
birth abortion. The same practice Obama wanted to continue.

Lets take a look at the practice he wanted to continue.
The 5 Step Partial Birth Abortion procedure
A. Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby's leg withforceps.
(Remember this is a live baby)
B. The baby's leg is pulled out into the birth canal.
C. The abortionist delivers the baby's entire body,except for thehead.
D. The abortionist jams scissors into the baby's skull. The scissors are
then opened to enlarge the hole.
E. The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted.
The child's brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The deadbaby
is then removed.

God help him.

There is a reason Obama opposed the parental notification law.
Think about this: you can't give a kid an aspirin without parental
notification but that same kid can have an abortion without parental
notification. This is insane.

There is a reason he went to Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years.
Obama tells us he has good judgment, but he sat under Jeremiah Wright's
teaching for 20 years. Now he is condemning Wright's sermons. I wonder why now?
Obama said Jeremiah Wright led him to the Lord and discipled him. A disciple
is one in training. Jesus told us in Matthew 28:19 - 20 'Go and make
disciples of all nations.' This means reproduce yourself. Teach people to
think like you, walk like you, talk like you believe what you believe,etc.
The question I have is what did Jeremiah Wright teach him?

Would you support a White President who went to a church which has tenets
that said they have a:
1. Commitment to the White Community
2. Commitment to the White Family
3. Adherence to the White Work Ethic
4. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills
available to the White Community .
5. Pledge to allocate regularly, a portion of personal resources for
strengthening and supporting White Institutions
6. Pledge allegiance to all White leadership who espouse and embrace the
White Value System
7. Personal commitment to embracement of the White Value System.

Would you support a President who went to a church like that?
Just change the word from white to black and you have the tenets ofObama's
former church. If President Bush was a member of a church like this, he
would be called a racist. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
would have been marching outside.
This kind of church is a racist church. Obama did not wake up after 20
years and just discovered he went to a racist church. The church can't be
about race. Jesus did not come for any particular race. He came for the
whole world.

A church can't have a value system based on race. The church's value
system has to be based on biblical mandate. It does not matter if
it's a white church or a black church, it's still wrong. Anyone from
either race that attends a church like this would never get my vote.
Obama's former Pastor Jeremiah Wright is a disciple of liberal theologian
James Cone, author of the 1970 book A Black Theology of
Liberation. Cone once wrote: "Black theology refuses to accept a God who is
not identified totally with the goals of the black community. If God is not
for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him."
Cone is the man Obama's mentor looks up to. Does Obama believe this?

So what does all this mean for the nation?
In the past when the Lord brought someone with the beliefs of Obama to lead
a nation it meant one thing - judgment.
Read 1 Samuel 8 when Israel asked for a king.
First God says in 1 Samuel 1:9 "Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly
and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do."
Then God says 1 Samuel 1:18 "When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the
king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day. 19 But
the people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said. 'We want a king
over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a
king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.' 21When
Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the LORD.
22 The LORD answered, 'Listen to them and give them a king.'"

Here is what we know for sure.
God is not schizophrenic.
He would not tell one person to vote for Obama and one to vote for McCain.
As the scripture says, a city divided against itself cannot stand, so
obviously many people are not hearing from God. Maybe I am the one not
hearing, but I know God does not change, and Obama
contradicts many things I read in scripture, so I doubt it.

For all my friends who are voting for Obama, can you really look God in the
face and say, "Father based on your word, I am voting for Obama even though
I know he will continue the genocidal practice of partial birth abortion.
He might have to nominate three or four supreme court justices, and I am
sure he will be nominating liberal judges who will be making laws that are
against you. I also know he will continue to push for homosexual rights,
even though you destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this. I know I can look the
other way because of the economy."?
I could not see Jesus agreeing with many of Obama's positions. Finally, I
have two questions for all my liberal friends. Since we know someone's
value system has to be placed on the nation,
1. Whose value system should be placed on the nation?
2. Who should determine that this is the right value system for the nation?

Blessings,
Huntley Brown

I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me!

2008-10-09T13:38:00.003-05:00

Ok, so most of you know about my running and getting into shape for the body abusing Mud Run, (which is on November 8th by the way.) Well, my goal right now has been to run 3 miles. At the beginning of September, when Jessi started school, I picked up where I left off at the end of May. I could run 1 mile straight, then run/walk the other 2 miles. As of last week, I am up to 2 miles running then walking the last one mile. Yeah! I thought that I might be able to run 2.5 miles yesterday, but I was sadly disappointed, sort of.

I started my run like I normally do, getting my breathing in rhythm with my feet hitting the ground. When I hit one mile, (13 minutes) I was starting to feel not so good, I started thinking that maybe I wasn't going to make it today, my chest started to burn while I was breathing, my legs were not so good and my head started spinning. When I hit a mile and a quarter, I knew I wasn't going to make 2.5 miles and decided that I had to make at least 2 miles, since that is what I did last week. I started nearing the 1.5 miles and realized that I didn't know if I could even make that. Something wasn't right, but I didn't want to give up and disappoint myself or anyone else...(not that anyone else even cared except maybe James.) As I crossed the 1.5 mark, still running, I couldn't stop. I wanted to, but I couldn't. All of a sudden, I started to cry. I wanted to stop so bad, but I couldn't. I knew I was going to have to find a way to get to 2 miles. Then it hit me. I couldn't stop because I didn't want to let God down. I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, just Him. So, with tears streaming down my face, I ran on. I pictured the Holy of Holies standing at the 2 mile marker waving His arms at me, "C'mon Wendy, you can do it! I know you can!". I chanted in my head, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Over and over in my head and you know what? I ran that last half mile and I finished that mile in 12 minutes! I had tears coming down my face from whatever was happening in my body and I finished it.

I hope that my story inspires you to keep going even when it hurts and you don't don't think you can. That is when God steps in and provides His strength to pull you through to the finish line. You won't need any other cheerleaders, but one.

ps- I will try to do better at updating my blog...I didn't realize so many folks like to read what I have to say! :-)

Until we read again!

I am a Writer.

2008-09-18T17:38:00.003-05:00

I would like to give some thoughts to you today, inspired by trusting God.
Romans 4:16 -Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham's offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. 17As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations."[a] He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

My friend calls this last part a "be not, as though they were." God called Abraham to be the father of many nations. Abraham had to wait, be patient and most importantly have the faith that God would follow through on his promise. At one point he got impatient. Maybe he even felt like he was disappointing God because of his inability to conceive with Sarah. He took Sarah's handmaiden Hagar and tried it out on his own. There was success. He fathered the leader of Muslims today - Ishmael. I don't believe that was what God intended. God wanted it to be miraculous. He wanted it to be spectacular. He wanted it to be all Him. Years later, God did follow through with his promise and made Abraham the father of many nations. The promise that came by faith.

I would also like to share the same verses, however I would like to share them from the message.

16This is why the fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and his way, and then simply embracing him and what he does. God's promise arrives as pure gift. That's the only way everyone can be sure to get in on it, those who keep the religious traditions and those who have never heard of them. For Abraham is father of us all. He is not our racial father—that's reading the story backward. He is our faith father.
17-18We call Abraham "father" not because he got God's attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn't that what we've always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, "I set you up as father of many peoples"? Abraham was first named "father" and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, "You're going to have a big family, Abraham!"

I say all this because as some of you know, I have been struggling with a leading that I was not sure about. I have loved writing ever since I was in elementary school. I wrote silly stories all the time. I loved using my imagination. As I got into high school I got more mature and my writings were much deeper. After I graduated, I found other things to fill my time with and lost my imagination as the real world became really real.

In the last couple of years, God has been pulling me to start writing again. I, however in my own infinite wisdom, have been finding other things to fill my time with, hoping that I was wrong, or that God wasn't talking to the right person, surely he meant someone else. It is too hard to "open your vein on the page" and pour your heart out. Over the last several months, He has been putting signs everywhere. In books and in tv shows and words on the radio. They have all pointed in one direction. I have been reading several books on dreams, as I am sure you read in earlier posts, and I picked up one called, "Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. (Same guy who wrote, "Prayer of Jabez".) I thought for sure that it was about dreams and inturperting them. I sat down and low and behold, it was not about dreams at all. It was about following the little dream way deep down inside of you that was planted, by God, when you were born. God placed it in you so that you could use it for His purpose. It was an awesome read and I literally read it in one sitting. (Ask my husband, I don't think I talked all night...) That is when I decided, that I better listen to God. That book spoke directly to me, or God did through that book. It was about me all the way through it!

My friend Heidi called me a few day later and told me she heard a commercial on KLTY, (our local Christian radio station) about the North Texas Christian Writers Conference. I checked it out online and found that for 2 days of classes it was $229. How the heck am I going to pay for that? Our funds were already allocated elsewhere, how on earth can I ask to take that much out of the pot? This was 2 weeks ago on a Wednesday. I decided to pray on it for 24 hours and see how I felt. The next morning, I emailed my husband and told him why I knew it was ridiculous, but I really felt like I was supposed to go. We decided to pray about it some more and trust that if God wanted me to go, He would get us the money. On Friday afternoon, I got a call from the county tax office who stated that we would be receiving a $232 refund from our 2007 taxes because of the homestead exemption. I emailed James who said, "I guess God answered our prayers." Indeed, He did. I went, it was awesome and the story will go on.

Even Abraham had doubt because it was taking so long, but he followed, knowing that God would follow through and he believed that God would indeed make him the "father of many nations." I am blessed to be part of his many nations. Abrahams faith inspires me to also faithfully follow God's calling on my life to be a stay at home mother and a writer. I decided that listening to God is better than pretending He is not talking to me.

So with that all being said in my overly wordy way, I am a writer. I will call it as though it is. I am a writer. I am not perfect and I have a LONG way to go, but I am a writer. I will use my talents He has gifted me with to make Him proud. I will work hard and I will learn the craft and I will write, for God, with love, from me.

Until we read again...

Kindergarten Milestones

2008-08-28T18:23:00.002-05:00

Well folks, not only has my precious Miranda started school, just 2 whole days ago, but she also lost her first tooth! She noticed it was loose on the first day of school then came home the next day with it very loose and today it was stuck by a thread. I said, "Miranda, do you want me to go ahead and just pull it out."
She said, "Well, ummmmm, yes!" When we got home I was checking my email and had totally spaced my commitment. She came up to me with 2 kleenex's and said, "One to hold the tooth so you don't get blood on your fingers and one to catch it with when it falls out so it doesn't get dirty."

So sweet. I yanked that sucker out and placed it on the pantry door with all of our other trophy teeth. See our tooth fairy leaves money in the bags, she has too many teeth so she lets Mommy keep them. :-)

Well, it has been a big week this week. School, falling teeth and I started my book again today, although this time, I think I might actually get further than one page. Jessi starts school next week...hopefully I won't cry while I start running to train for the Mud Run.

Until we read again!

First day of school

2008-08-26T21:19:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to drop a quick post. Today, my 5 year old started school. I thought it would be an easy day, but it wasn't. I fought back tears several times. Maybe it would have been better to let them just come instead of eating them.

I wish I had pictures, but I don't right now. I still don't have a working digital camera. I did take pictures with my disposable camera though.

After the Boo Hoo breakfast at school, I went to Heidi's house for a Moms and Muffins Prayer Breakfast. This was our first annual one. A bunch of us moms got together to have some breakfast and pray over our kids, each other, our teachers and the different administrations responsible for our schools. It was moving. It helps you not feel so alone in this ever changing world of children. It was led by someone who still cries every school year when her college age kids and college graduates call her when they start school every year. One of them is a teacher. She said that it doesn't change. Every year, she is still moved by the experience. Wow, how incredible is that? It puts things in perspective. God gives us these babies to raise and give back to him. He trusts us with his precious children. We are his precious children too though and I bet he crieswhen he sends us off too. You know we are the coolest kids on the earth right!?? He loves us more than anything in the whole world right???
He wants us to run in the door at the end of the day and tell him all about how our day was too. How awesome is that???

Just some ponderings from a tired mom.
Peace be to you from the Lord most high!
Until we read again...

Another dream

2008-08-22T12:54:00.002-05:00

Wow, when it rains, it pours. I guess, since I showed God that I was ready and willing to listen, He decided He would give me a opportunity. I will pass this along for you to pray about. Maybe it's for you too.

I was fighting in some kind of war. We were in a riverwalk type place. I, along with 2 other women, were captured, although I never did see who I was fighting against. They were people, but with undescript faces. Our hands were tied behind our backs and we were led into an open area, like an outdoor restaurant without tables. It looked like it had been made into a holding area with couches and pillows. Our captors removed our bindings and told us to sit down on a couch up against a far wall. They handed us some handcuffs, only there weren't with locks, they were yellow padded and had velcro instead. They asked us to put them on behind our backs. The two women next to me did. I started to, then realized that if they can't see what I am doing, then I will pretend. When they left the area, I looked to my commanding officer and asked her what the plan was. She said that they had taken our belongings and held them in the Dollar Store across the walkway and we needed to escape and sneak over there to get them. She said with the bushes and trees down to the river, we could get down there and then sneak back up outside the store. She then said that they were not going to go. They didn't want to leave. I knew that I was not going to stay, I know what happens to POW's and I didn't want to be any part of that. When no one was looking, I jumped up and ran outside the area down the hill. I turned around and hid behind some bushes to see what was going on. The captors realized I wasn't there, so I was not going to be able to get my belongings. It was just a matter of time before they came for me. I ran down the hill as fast as I could and jumped into the water. I stayed near the bushes and trees for saftey, but did not go onto ground because I didn't want the hounds to catch my scent. After running for a little while, I turned around and saw that no one was coming after me. I came to a clearing and there sat my family. All but my oldest daughter. They were not happy to see me though. They didn't believe what I was fighting or what I was fighting for. I didn't have any food and wanted to eat so I explained my plight to my husband and asked him for a couple bucks. He said he didn't want to but pulled out his wallet anyway. Then I woke up. The ringing in my ears was calling me to read Psalm 74.

I got up and read Psalm 74. I had never read it before. It is a prayer to God to use his limitless power. If you haven't read it, stop right now and grab your bible and take a gander. Kinda scary.

After I got done reading it, I read over my notes from my dream again. As I read it, I had feelings of what it meant to me so I wrote those down too. I am positive it was from God. Here is what I got -

It is a dream about spiritual warfare. The unseen army were forces of darkness, which is why I could not see their faces. The velcro handcuffs can only hold us if we allow them to. Our enemies don't actually put the bindings on us, we have to put them on ourselves. We talked about getting away, but the other 2 captives were not willing to take the velcro bindings off and were willing to risk death to stay. I could not go get my things when I finally escaped because if I would have ventured up the hill to get them, I was risking going back into the very bondage I just got out of. I can't take the things of this life with me in this war. I was not ever afraid in this dream. I did not want to be captured anymore. The enemy is always waiting for me, but they did not chase me. They lay in wait and set traps and wait for me to come back because they know I will. My family was upset because I was fighting in a war they didn't want me in. They didn't realize that they should be fighting in it too. All of Gods children are fighting this war, some just don't know it yet. My oldest was not at the table with everyone else because even at her early age, she is fighting in it. I think that when God was with her while she was in her coma, she was being prepared for early battles. I feel like I need to be doing a better job of equipping her, but that is another story altogether.

So that is my story. I pray that God uses it to touch someone out there. I know that my eyes and ears are open now and I pray that God continues to use me.

Until we read again!
wt

Extra Extra, Read all about it - God uses Wendy!

2008-08-18T15:48:00.003-05:00

This is the word that He wanted me to share on Sunday - I hope it touches you too.

I could not sleep last night. Have you ever had those nights? I was watching Discovering the Jewish Jesus. God started nudging me when I heard two things I had spoken with Darlene about on Friday were repeated just as I left the bathroom to get into bed. Insecurities and fear holding me back from being close to God and me not taking enough time to be still and know that He is God. So, I need to give you a little background on this before I go into what I believe I am supposed to share. It is rather graphic so I will not get too detailed.

I am a dreamer. I have been since I was little girl. I don’t just dream black and white. I am a full color motion picture dreamer. Details and everything. I feel like this is the way God uses to get to me because I am so preoccupied that I don’t hear him during the day. I have known that this was an issue and try to work on it, but I always make excuses.
I am not proud of that.

This past week or so, I have had 3 dreams in particular. The first two, I fought with evil dark figure, which I can only assume was Satan. I was scared and the only thing I could do was to call on the power and light of God to save me because I was his child and He did. I was carried away to safety. When I awoke, I was refreshed and satisfied that I was able to stand on God promises and he would take care of me, in spite of me not being as obedient as I should be. On Thursday night however, I was not so lucky. I was in the middle of an office type place and was looking at some young girls and was thinking how someone should tell them about God’s love for them and give them hope. The door to the office opened and in walked the dark stranger with a gun. Without anymore details than that, it was the worst nightmare of my life. I was shot and killed. I woke up gasping for breath as the final bullet entered my head. It was awful. I couldn’t help but start doubting my safety in God. I was not reading my bible or doing all the things I could or should be doing and maybe this was God’s way of telling me that. I love to write, so I wrote the dream down thinking that maybe if I got it out it would be okay. It didn’t help. It actually made it worse. I was trying to think of who I could call to talk to who wouldn’t think I was crazy! Not one minute after I was done writing though, my phone rang. It was Darlene and her first question was, “how ya doin today?” I told her terrible and start to cry uncontrollably. Bless her heart, she jumped in the car and came right over. When she got here, I told her that God must have told her to call me and told her what happened. After a long talk, I came to the realization that that dream was not from God at all. It was Satan taking advantage of me at my weakest moment. He took all my chaos in my head and used it all against me and killed me, just like he wanted to.

I felt led to tell you all this. I think that God wants to remind us that Satan is here to lie, cheat, steal and destroy our lives. He will use any weakness that we allow him to have. He will even wait to catch us off guard when we are not thinking about it. I was on the top of the world in my dreams. Every time I fought him, it was head on and I knew he was coming. This last one, I didn’t. He walked right in and looked right at me before I even knew it was happening. I didn’t even get a chance to ask God for help.

I don’t know if anyone needed to hear this today, but I have one more thing. Tonight after I heard 2 of the very things Darlene and I talked about yesterday, I still could not go to sleep. I laid there wide awake with a pressing feeling to get up and go the living room and pray on my knees. I finally did. When I did, I didn’t know what to say, so I said, God if you are there, please show me. I felt a sensation all over my body and heard in my head clear as a bell, “Read my word”. I have been reading a chronological daily bible. (when I read it.) and that is the one that I saw in my head. After sitting there for a moment in shock and trying to figure out if it was really happening, I got up and got the bible. When I opened up to the next daily read, this is what I read.

Why Righteous Die - Isaiah 57.1-2
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart, devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

I have a New Century Version also I would like to share –
Those who are right with God may die, but no one pays attention. Good people are taken away, but no one understands. Those who do right are being taken away from evil and are given peace. Those who live as God wants find rest in death.

After I read those two, I knew that I was supposed to share and it has given me a feeling of peace to know that I am headed in the right direction.

Catie and All Stars 2008 is fini

2008-07-28T16:27:00.005-05:00

The benchwarmers before New Orleans....

To those who prayed and even got to come see a game or donated to the team or bought from the team, THANK YOU! We had an outstanding season and it was fun. I wish Catie could have gotten to play more, but she did get to play some and that is what is important.

The team did make it to Nationals which was held in Slidell, LA 16-20July08. It was hot and steamy. We played 3 games on Thursday, 17th July and the games began at 8am. Our girls do not play well first thing in the morning and even after an hour warm up prior, they still lost all 3 games. That was a downer. We went back to the hotel and swam for a little while then Catie and I went out to dinner with a family who is living near there and will be moving out to Burleson in the near future to be associate pastors at our church! (With 3 little boys, they will help even out the girls at church!) It was great and we went down to the French Quarter and ate at a restaurant called "Mulate's". Real Cajun food and it was awesome! Thank you to the Wells Family for hanging out with us for a little while and for the awesome dinner!

So, Friday we had 2 games and our first one was at 1240p, we already knew it would be a good game! Yes, we did win that game and were very excited! Going into game 2, which we had to win to go to the final tournaments on Saturday, we knew it would be hard. This team was kickin behinds and takin names. With a little team shuffling, the girls worked hard, but couldn't close the deal. We were the only team that was able to hold them to no runs during a couple of innings. The other innings, they scored max points though. The score ended, 6-5 with them winning. That was a bummer.

Now to Catie, she got to play 4 total innings and hit twice. My digital camera took a dump, so I didn't get too many pics, but I did have a friend who caught Catie hitting her first at bat. She it it to 3rd and got thrown out at first, but she it it hard!

I will finish with this,
I am glad Catie got this experience and glad she had a good time.

Praise God it is over! Fall Ball starts in 2 weeks, (yuck). Miranda wants to play and Jessi is thinking about it. Catie has decided that 6 months of softball is enough for her, she won't be playing fall ball this time... whew...

The girls in the parade - Catie is the first hat on the left.
The team getting beads from the teams behind them in the parade!
Catie and Shelby after the opening ceremonies...lots of beads and the fun has just begun!
Catie's big swing!

And she hits it!

The benchwarmers after New Orleans! From the left, Shelby, Brianna, Kelsie and Catie.

Until we read again!

Catie and All Stars - Coming Soon!

2008-07-23T10:04:00.002-05:00

I wanted to just let you know that I will be posting soon! I have some pictures from the opening ceremonies on Wednesday night, but after that my digital camera took a dump. I did buy a disposable, but I have to get the film developed, so give me a couple days and I will get some pics up and tell you all what happened!

Thanks and Until we read again!

Life in General

2008-07-09T07:48:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I thought I would throw another post up here.
I painted my cat room yesterday and started the transformation process into my very own office/peace space. It looks incredible. We are getting high speed internet later this week and once I get that settled in and figured out, I will move my computer in there. In a few years hopefully, I will have a laptop and then it will be perfect. For now, though, my flat screen monitor works perfect and I can hide the base under a table cloth on the floor so you can't see it. When things get finalized, I will be sure to load up some picts for everyone to see.

What else, Catie is going to Nationals for All Stars next week! We are driving to Slidell, LA. I am nervous about what to expect, but hopefully God will bless the girls who are playing with a cool and safe week/weekend. Once Nationals are over, we are over with softball for the summer, Praise God! Hopefully Catie will be able to have a calm rest of the summer and she can relax.

Not much else to talk about right now. Just wanted to get something up other than the Nascar one. I am sure you are ready to stop seeing that one!

Be blessed!
Until we read again...

Speed Racin Dreams!

2008-06-23T12:37:00.004-05:00

Wow, What a freaking dream come true! June 22, 2008 @ apprx, 130pm, I got to race a real Nascar Nextel Cup 10 laps around Texas Motor Speedway. I am not even sure where to start, but I will go ahead and tell you all about it!
We got there and drove out thru the tunnel to pit road. What a spectacle seeing the speedway from that side. I can't believe how ginormous it is! They had all the cars set up inside the garage and seats so you could sit down and listen to the 30 minute shpeel about what to do and the lines and where to drive. Then we get to go up to the track and ride in vans 2 or 3 laps around the speedway so they could go through it again and show you on the track. I was one of the first ones in line for that. I walked fast up to the van and asked if I could ride in the front. The answer was, "sure!" With that, I jumped and squealed like a little girl and got in the van. (Squeal number one.) Of course, I listened like very intently, I wanted to make sure I took it all in and didn't forget anything. Can't drive like a racer if I don't listen to how to do it right!
After that, we stood in a line and they picked out the groups. I was in group 4. They sent us over to pick out our firesuits and then we wait.
During all the van rides, they had moved the cars up under a tent where folks would get to ride. We were told that all these cars were actual cars that the Nascar Cup drivers had used and retired (since they are in new cars this year.) As the first cars rumble up and move out, it was so freakin awesome! Have I already said that? Adrenaline starts pumping because I know that soon, I too, will be rumbling out from underneath the tent onto the track for my drive.
Oh, did I tell you that it was HOT outside??? Did you know that those firesuits are hot too and I was in group number 4. Thank goodness my dad got me some water. He kept telling me to drink and I didn't want to because I was afraid that I would have to go the bathroom during my drive. He told me not to worry about that...nope, didn't need to worry about that...
Anyway, my turn came up and we are standing under a little red tent, just the 10 folks in my group. The guy comes over and tells us about how this is going to work and then starts telling us what car we are going to be in. We can't pick cars because each car is set up for a certain size. When he is going around I started saying under my breath, "number 20, Home Depot, number 20, Home Depot." He gets to me and says, "You are going to be in Number 20!" I jumped and squealed like a little girl again! (Squeal number 2) Dudes I can't even begin to tell you how freaking awesome it was! Have I already said that...
Just talking about it gets my blood pumping again!
After that, we go pick our helmets and wait for the last group to finish getting out of the cars. Then, it is our turn.
Off we go. I jumped the pit road fence and head for my orange number 20 Home Depot car, just hoping that I do my family proud and don't let down them or the Home Depot. There is a reputation to up hold you know. Also, the weirdest part, I wasn't nervous. I was elated and floating on cloud nine. They told me how to get into the car and when I scooted into the seat, it fit perfect. My instructer Pat scooted in his side and I told him that I will do whatever he tells me to do, my goal is to go as fast as possible and not come in last. He said that is what he wanted to hear.
Now during the drive, you can't hear each other so they use hand signals. Thumbs up to speed up, thumbs down to slow down and flat hand to keep it even and side to side to change lanes. If you don't do what they ask for with speed up or slow down, they tap your right knee or push your knee down to go or grab your leg and pull it up to take the foot off the gas.
When the drive started and we popped the clutch to start the car, it was like thunder rumbling under my booty! (Squeal number 3!) I think I went perma grin and didn't stop. I went ten laps, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like 10 seconds. I passed 6 cars and went 145 miles per hour! I was not passed by anyone and I didn't come in last. During the drive, the G force was so powerful that I got light headed at one time, but because of where I was, I did not lose it. I have bruise on the back of my right arm that I am so proud of because I was getting pushed so hard to that side that it couldn't help but form. I will have to take pictures of that for ya! It is the best bruise ever!!
Whenever I got done and got out, I asked Pat how I did and he said great! He said that I couldn't have done any better because I got everything out of the car it had to offer. He was smiling really big too! That was great. I had to do good if I made the instructer smile that big!
What else?? Oh, I got a video too. My dad paid for me to have an in car video. You can hear the rumble of the engine and see out the front window. I think we are going to time some of the laps too, so eventually, I will have to put that on here.
Anyway, it was SOOOOO AWESOME! Praise God that I got to do it safely and Thank You to James for making a dream come true! Can't ask for much more than that! The adrenaline rush I had, carried me for about 2 hours and after then I tanked! I see why they call them adrenaline junkies! What a high! I would do it all the time if I could! That would be an awesome part time job!
I have to give the big boys credit, it is harder than it looks and I am positive they earn every penny they make! May God be with them when they drive every week! Those are adrenaline junkies! You don't realize how quickly you have to make decisions when you are driving that fast. You have to be one step ahead of the next guys and trust the guys driving around you. Now I understand why they get so mad at each other when they wreck. So here's to you Racecar Drivers everywhere!
So with that being said, I will load up some pictures for you. I hope you enjoy!
Until we read again!

Me in the hot suit! It was even hotter in the car, but the wind helped!
You see me driving by. My uncle was trying to catch me under the checkered flag and I was going too fast ... :-)
This last one is me waving with my instructer after we were done! If you could find a way to zoom in, all you can see of me are my teeth!

Go TONY!!!

Political tyrade, my opinions only

2008-06-07T13:23:00.003-05:00

I have been watching all this crap, I mean stuff on the news lately about global warming. I don't believe most of it. Truly, I believe that it is a facade to help take away our freedoms so the government can gain more control, but whatever. I think the ideas of keeping trash picked up and recycling and planting trees is all good. I have no problem with that. But the idea of buying carbon credits is the silliest thing I have ever heard of. In other words, it's another way for us to pay more taxes to the government and they are calling them carbon credits. What a joke!

We live in the good ole USA. We have improved our climate around here. When I was a kid and we used to drive to LA to see my grandparents, you could see the smog sitting in the city like a thick fog that won't go away. Where is it now? We are obviously doing something right. Now I hear people in Washington state thinking about not having fires on the beach anymore. What next!?

What about China being 60 miles off the Florida coast and stealing our oil/gas, oops, I mean drilling in international waters. Who cares that our gas could be almost 10 dollars a gallon and we are giving ours away because the environmentalists are so worried about the planet. God gave us this planet. No, I don't think we should abuse it, but we also are starting to be the joke of the world. The rest of the planet doesn't care. Even if we did what the scientists want us to do, it won't change much. China and India aren't changing anything. C'mon folks! If we were really all that worried, we would be trying to get them to do something, but guess what, t'ain't happening.

Now I have that out of the way, I am sure I did not make any new friends saying all this stuff, but I had to get it off my chest. Yes, I will do my part, but stop brainwashing my children in school and on TV. The planet has been going warm and cold for billions of years, that is what it does. God planned it that way.

Which brings me to my next rant - Watch out whoever takes the presidency, because we are a divided nation right now and it is not going to get any better. What a great way for an enemy to take advantage of a country. You want to know a person, look at who he hangs out with and who endorses him, whether he accepts it or not. Obama scares me. You can't tell me that he went to church for 20 years and never heard any of the things that have been brought up recently. Have you heard some of the left wing radicals that are excited about Obama possibly becoming president? Folks from Hamas and other terrorist organizations. Drug dealers in South America, leaders of countries who probably shouldn't be excited about our new president. We don't want to be friends with them. If you are curious, do some investigations on your own. He can denounce them all he wants to, but it doesn't change the fact they like him.

So there is my 10 cents. I promise not to go on anymore tyrades. I know some of you actually like what is going on in the world. I will choose to know that God sees this and this is all part of the plan. A weakend America will allow His plan to unfold the way He needs it to. It sure would be difficult to have us United when the anti christ comes. Divide and conquer. I may be totally off base here. I don't think I am though. If you look at the world and all that is happening, it seems to be the beginning. I am not saying it is going to end anytime soon, but I think it is the beginning. Just some thoughts to ponder.

Until we read again - if you will read me again! :-)

The big weigh down!

2008-06-05T08:21:00.002-05:00

Well folks, I know that I haven't talked much about it lately, but I have been getting healthy. I am so excited because today was my weigh in morning and I hit the 20 lb mark today. It has taken me 6 months and I am officially at a loss of 21.5 lbs! The past 4 months or so were the movers and I had one funk during it of about 2 weeks long, but I finally did it! I am looking forward to my continued downward trend!

I would like to give God all the glory! He has given me the strength, the courage and the will power to do it. When I run, I always praise Him for giving me the energy to just do it!
I would also like to thank my Sisters In Sweat. If it wasn't for their encouragement and prayers and continued support, I don't know that I would have kept going. Thank you Sisters for lifting me up and keeping me going. It has been a wild roller coaster! I look forward to riding it some more with you! The ups and downs may be different for all of us because of where we are on the ride, but at least we are all on it together!
I, of course, would also like to thank my husband. He has been getting in shape too and it sure makes it easier for me to do this, as I watch him. We can show united front of being healthy for our girls and that makes us that much more stronger together, as a team!

I have some good news. I fought through a fear last night. A year or so ago, I took my girls to Bartlett park with me to ride their bikes around the jogging track. I brought my roller blades since I don't have bike, so I could keep up. Now imagine remember, I was 20 lbs heavier and I was on roller blades. I usually don't do that in public for fear of being made fun of. Little did I know that shortly after I started, it would come true. There was a car load of boys driving by and I heard them yelling at me out the window. I don't remember exactly what was said, but I acted like I didn't hear them. I was crushed inside. I don't know if the girls even knew what happened. If they did, they didn't say anything. I kept going. We did one lap and they were ready to go and so was I. That was the last time I did that. The last couple of months, I was running in the mornings there. I figured most of the crude boys would not be driving around at 8 in the morning. Since the girls have gotten out of school, I have not been able to run. Catie had All-Stars practice last night at the same park, so I thought that James would keep the little ones while Catie was practicing, I would go run. I figured that it would just be Catie's team there and as awkward as that would be I would put one foot in front of the other and just go. I kept looking for a way out and I so insecure that I asked Catie if it would embarass her if I ran. She was like, "No, go ahead!" Ok, now I can't back out. When we get there, the park was PACKED full of boys playing games! My heart started to choke me. Here I am all dressed and ready to run and the park is full of the young teenage boys. I would look silly if I didn't. All dressed up and too scared to go. You think God had anything to do with that? I would like to say though that I did it. I swallowed my pride and got out and did 3 miles. I didn't get to run the whole thing because I had eaten dinner before running and wanted to throw up, but I fast walked and pumped my arms, in spite of all the people who were "looking" at me. Were they really looking at me? I don't know, but I was so excited. I don't think that it is something that is going to go away overnight, but I had the courage to do it once and I believe, with God's help, I can do it again!

Here's to looking at getting and staying healthy, in spite of everyone "looking" at me. Praise to God!

Until we read again...

Bloggin, Bloggin, Bloggin

2008-05-19T12:21:00.002-05:00

Ok, so once again, it has been awhile. I am not sure why it takes so long. I feel pretty bad about that. Some folks actually like to read what I write! I have had some great things to say, while I am driving or running or whatever, but hmmm, no computer to type on while I am doing that. It would be kinda hard anyway.

So, I have been in what I like to call a funk. Things have been so dark around me, you almost have to carry a flashlight to see me. I am pretty good on the outside, but the inside is just eating away at my muscles. (I wish it was the fat, but it's not.) I feel like all my strength is getting taken away. You know why? I have not been one with God. I have been outwardly focused on other things and not Him. I have been letting the voice of lies deceive me. It sucks too. I started eating more that I should again. That makes me feel yucky, so I eat more. Now I am going to have to retrain myself, again! It is a constant battle. I hear those voices telling me that I suck as a mom and I just want to be alone, but my kids are always there. It's like they know how to irritate me and do it with great pleasure. Although, I don't know that that is true, it sure feels like it. Here is what I think,

Wendy, you are in a funk. You know it. Do something about it. Take the step. You need to get back to Gods arms. You need to reach up and say, "Daddy, hold me, I am sad."
Doesn't He promise to pick me up? Doesn't He promise not to let me succumb to pressure? Doesn't He promise that when I feel like giving up (which I do), that He will give me the strength to perservere?

We are going to have hard times. We are going to have funks. The question is, will we rely upon the one who promises big promises and never lets us down or will we try to handle it ourselves? I vote for God and I know that, but I have to take the steps to give it up again and not try to hold onto myself in the drivers seat.

Sometimes it's hard to give up, dare I say it, control, when you are control freak. The road is always smoother when you are not driving though. I always hit the potholes, but God never does. You ever notice that when you are in the passenger seat and God is doing the driving, there are never any accidents? He has a perfectly clean record. How does your record look? Unpaid speeding tickets, running a red light or a stop sign, driving while intoxicated, maybe even manslaughter. I bet that we are all felons for one reason or another in prison, waiting on death row for more than just driving issues. We are all hoping that we will get the call from the Governor, the night before our sentence is to be carried out. But wait, don't we have the ultimate hope? We ARE on death row and we KNOW that right before they put the needle in, we won't have to have that lethal injection. Guess what, Jesus is going to lay down on that cold table and let them put the needle in him. He is going to do it for me and He is going to do it for you.

So why do I continually try to control my surroundings? Why can't I just let go and pray when I feel that urge to control come on? Why can't I stick my nose in His book and let Him tell me what to do?
Maybe I will do just that. I will go stick my nose in His good book and let Him talk to me. That is something you all can pray for me about. Letting go, again, of everything that I don't need to have my hands on or in.

I feel better now. Thank you for listening.

Until we read again...

First assignment

2008-04-25T08:30:00.002-05:00

Hello fellow Readers,
I mentioned a post or so ago that I was beginning a new writing course online. I have finished 2 lessons now and absolutely love it. I can feel my creative juices flowing again and it feels great! I wanted to share my first writing assignment with you. We were supposed to light a candle and tell everyone about the candle. Our goal was to bring all the 123 people in the class enough about the candle, that they felt like they were looking at it too. So, here it is!

My candle has an amber glow down to middle as it flickers at the wick. It is swaying while the draft gently tosses it around. I wonder, if I sit here very still, will it stand at attention? Are the breaths, that I breath really enough to make it continue to move? The wax around the wick is beginning to melt. It has burned down just enough into the center of the candle that it looks like the inside of a cave with a hot spring in the middle and fire coming up out of the water. The fire continues to jump, unsteadily with a serene feel to it. As I stare into the small flame, it looks soft. Like if I touch it, it wouldn’t hurt, but feel like a warm winter blanket. I can feel the warmth and if I let myself go, I imagine it being cold outside and having this warm fire to cuddle up next to. Soon, I will have to blow out this, ever so peaceful flickering flame and move on with my day.

Until we read again...

Let's play the what if game?

2008-04-23T08:24:00.002-05:00

I don't know if this is even worth writing about, but I felt the need to do it anyway. The thought came to my head, like a brink, on the way home from taking Catie to school. I know that folks say not to play the, "What If Game", because you could play it all day and never win, but I did it anyway. I am always breaking the rules...

Anyway, how about this scenario?

What if, the person you are today, went back 10 - 15 years to the person you were back then? Could you live that life? What would your friends and family and coworkers think of you?

I went back to when I was a supervisor in Customer Service. I guess that was '98/'99 for me. That is what I was doing before I got pregnant and while I was pregnant with Catie. I was a different person then. Looking back, I see a world full of sin all around me. I was swimming in the midst of it and didn't even know it. I was blinded by the darkness. That was before I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I still had God with me, but I didn't live for Him. If I was to go back and live this life back then, I don't think that I would have lasted very long. I probably would have not been able to speak freely about my faith. I probably would have been made fun of. I probably would have felt like the outcast. I can see folks calling me the Jesus freak or Bible Thumper. Persecuted, in my own job, go figure. I don't think I would have been very respected. I think, in my case, my family would have been the same as they are now. Tentative, supportive, but not very understanding of what I had and why I wanted them to have it too. It is hard for people, who don't see the light, to see it until they "see" it. Does that make sense? I don't think that I would have had the same friends because my light might have blinded them. They were in such a dark place. I wonder who I would have had as friends? Who was a follower and I never saw them because they were too scared to show their light for fear of being ostracized? Interesting question. I guess I will never know.

There are tons of other questions this game could raise right now, but I think that is enough for me. You know, I could play this game all day long and never win.

Until we read again...

Oh so long, oh so much

2008-04-17T14:18:00.002-05:00

Gosh, it feels like forever since my last posts. Oops, it has been! So sorry about that.

Lots been going on. Too much to tell, but long story short. Softball, school, softball, sleep, softball, allergies, softball, working out, softball, losing 9 inches off my body and 11 pounds. Yes, I am getting smaller! Just one size so far, but it is coming off! I have an awesome support group and we all feed off of each other. If one of us had a lousy week, then one of us had a great week and we can all still celebrate! Awesome!

I started a writing course online, so expect my posts to get better. I am very excited. I feel like I am answering a call of God to use my talents, finally. He has been hounding me for almost a year now and I spoke to someone who really pushed me over the edge to take the leap of faith. Fun Fun! Wish me luck.

So for now, unfortuneatly, I don't have much else to say. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still here, just with not a whole lot extra stuff to say. I get ideas in my head in the middle of the night, but then I don't remember them in the morning.

Take care everyone and may God bless you abundantly!
Until we read again...wt

My Hero!

2008-03-31T08:22:00.003-05:00

I have to say I am so proud of my husband! He has been working so hard to get ready for the Marine Mud Run and it has paid off. It is a 6 mile Marine obstacle course, with mud and walls and cargo nets and mud. They say that 1/3 of people who start it don't finish it, well, James did! He even did much better than he thought he would. It is so true, you CAN do anything you put your head to! Based on the time frame, due to some rescheduled softball games for the girls, we were not going to be able to go. Well, I decided right after church that we were going to surprise Daddy at the end! We would just miss the warm up, but hopefully make it for the game. I did not know where LaGrave field was and ended up driving around downtown Fort Worth for about 30 minutes looking for it. I finally got a hold of Chris and he got me there. We only had to wait about 20 minutes for James to run across the finish line. He was so muddy that I didn't recognize him and had to really look before I had the girls holler for their daddy! He was so surprised to see us, but I wanted him to know how much we loved him and supported him and what better way to do that then to have 3 little cheer leaders at the end of a six mile grueling run!
If you are interested in seeing what this is all about, click here - www.mudrundfw.com - The next Mud Run is on 10/25/08. I have been inspired to push beyond my normal girl limits and do a team with James. We need 3 more particpants to team up with us. If you are interested in pushing beyond your limits and getting dirty for a good cause, let us know! In the meantime, here are some pictures of my awesome husband and his moments after the finsh line! (Yes, it says start, but it says finish on the other side...you can see the time he finished on the left of him. I take that back, you can't really see it very well here, but it says 1 hour 13 minutes.) In the last picture, the one in the middle is Steve and he was a Marine and he stayed with James the whole time. Thank you Steve! (For those of you in our Nascar Fantasy Racing league, this is the other Steve playing with us!)The other guy in the picture was with them too, he finished 6th! He was already cleaned up and waiting for James and Steve to cross the finish line. Congratulations boys!

Testimony about Faith and Trust

2008-03-21T08:28:00.004-05:00

It was a Sunday afternoon, on our way home from church. James was not yet a Christian and was asking me questions I could not answer about faith and God, again. Once again, I got frustrated and said to him words that, little did I know, I would be eating exactly one week later. “James, one day, something is just going to happen and it is going to slap you in the face and you will just know!”
The next Sunday morning October 24, 2004, I was awoken by my then 5 year old, Catie at 4 AM. She was sobbing uncontrollably, crying for me. I ran to her as fast as I could and saw that she had wet her panties while trying to go to the bathroom. She was shaking in waves, like she was being electrocuted. I tried to calm her down, but could not. I got James and after taking turns trying to calm her down for about 40 minutes, things just progressively got worse. James told me to take her to the ER.
By the time I arrived at Hughley, she could not walk. I got to the window to check in and I was crying too. The lady behind the counter asked me to sign in and I asked her to do it because I could not put Catie down. I started to panic because by this time, Catie couldn’t use her tongue anymore and she couldn’t talk to me. I guess the lady did not want me to lose it in front of the entire waiting room because she took me right back. When the doctor came in, he stood at the end of her bed, completely calm and started barking medications to put in her. As panic grew into fear, I asked him what was going on. He was at the end of the bed with his hands behind his back and said, “Mam, your daughter is having seizures, we are putting medicine in her to get them to stop.” I think I went into shock. My healthy as a horse 5 year old is having seizures? I remember going to the phone outside the room and calling James, but I don't remember what I said. Shortly thereafter, they were taking her back to do a Cat scan and they told me it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to go in there, in case something happens, they didn’t want me in the way. I remember them taking her through the doors thinking that I was watching a bad episode of ER, with doctors and nurses running in and out right by me not saying a word. It was horrible.
Less than an hour later, I was on my way to Cooks Children’s in Fort Worth in an ambulance with my husband in our truck behind us. They could not get the seizures to stop. They didn’t know why it was happening; they didn’t know how to get it to stop. At one point, James asked the neurologist what all the side effects of the medicine were. They were giving her a lot and we were worried what could happen. The doctor told us that right now, if they didn’t give her the medicine, she would die. They would worry about all that after they got them stopped. That was when we knew, for sure how dire the situation was.
That afternoon, our church family came up to the hospital to pray with us. It had been almost 10 hours since this all started. They had taken Catie down for another Cat scan. We were out on the balcony off the ICU waiting area and everyone encircled us and prayed over us and for Catie. It was strength we could not have had alone. When we went back to the room, we asked them about the seizures and he said they stopped. He said that during the Cat scan, she started another seizure and it just stopped. That was it. They couldn’t figure out what happened, but I knew. God put His hand in and stopped them. At that point, I knew everything would be okay. I tried to tell James, but he wouldn’t hear me. Since the seizures stopped, they were going to wean her off the medication and see what kind of damage the large doses could have done. Of course they list off all the things that could happen, but I knew that it would be fine. The next morning at the doctor switch off, when they got to Caties room, we sat down for the meeting. They spoke about everything that happened and where they were blah, blah, blah, “Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, do you have any questions?”
I don’t remember if James had any or not, but I told them that my daughter was going to be fine and there was no other option, she was going home with me and they were going to help her.
I never left Catie’s side while she was in a coma, maybe for a few minutes here or there, potty breaks or food. I kept looking at her thinking about how much she would have hated the Band-Aids and the gooey stuff on her head when they did the brain testing. They told me not to rub her hand or touch her because it would cause her brain to work trying to process the movement on her skin. All the tape and tubes on my beautiful baby girl. I remember telling God to make sure and take care of her. I told everyone who came to visit that she was with Jesus in the Garden of Eden having a picnic, but she would be back. I couldn’t even comprehend life without her, nor was it an option.
On Wednesday, 3 days later, she opened her eyes. I remember her blue eyes being so dark, but they were the awesomest thing I had ever seen. I smiled and told her how much we loved her and was glad she was back. I told her everything would be okay and all she wanted was that tube out of her mouth. She had a single tear roll down the side of her face and started to cry and it was all I could do not to start too.
Later that day, I asked her if I could go to the bathroom and she stopped me. She said, “Mommy, don’t you see it?”
I said,” See what baby?”
“The Angel, in the corner?”
I did start to cry that time. I knew that what I was saying and believing was true. God had his hand on her the whole time and everything was going to be okay, there was a reason for this terrible story.
By Thursday late afternoon, we were out of ICU. The doctors had told us that we would have several months of therapy to teach her how to walk again. They explained that while she did not exhibit any symptoms of side effects from the medicine, her brain had been scrambled and would have to rewire itself. Saturday evening, we were all ready to go home. We talked the doctor and explained how ready to go we were and since there was no therapy folks working the weekend, we were taking up space in a hospital we did not need to be at anymore. The doctor agreed with us, provided we did not leave her alone and got her into therapy, beginning on Monday.
On the way home from the hospital, I told Catie that I was telling everyone that she was in the Garden with Jesus. She laughed and rolled her eyes and said she wasn’t with Jesus. She said that Angels came and got her and she was talking with God. I asked what He had to say and she scoffed at me and told me she couldn’t tell me that! Who was I to argue with that?!
Sunday morning Catie wanted to go to church. She was still weak and couldn’t walk very well. When we arrived at church, her best friend Sarah came out to help her walk in. Sarah escorted her best friend to the chairs that we like to sit in. Tears were everywhere, including me. It was a real miracle! I knew it and so did everyone else. That was Halloween of 2004. That evening we came back up to Arlington to take Catie trick or treating with her friend. We knew it wouldn’t last very long, but she wanted to do it anyway. After we got done, James was driving and we went the opposite direction of home. I questioned him where we were going and he said to our Pastors house. I asked him why and he told me that while Catie was in her coma, he asked God that if He was really there, to make Catie better and that when He did, he would believe and get baptized and follow Him. He said that God kept his part of the bargain, now he was keeping his. We spent 2 or 3 hours at Craig’s house and James was baptized in a garden bathtub.
They say everything happens for a reason. God needed James and He needed to strengthen my Faith. He used the only thing He could to get us both at the same time.
On April 1, 2005, we took in our 3 nieces from CPS. We ended up adopting one of them. God knew the road we were going to be walking down and He needed us both to be a united front for Him. It worked and still works today. God has made us stronger and both of us know that if we have Him, we can do anything He needs us to do. While life may look dark at times out of the darkness can rise the greatest blessings.
A side note, which I know you were wondering. Catie had Cat Scratch Fever and it caused Encephalitis. It was worse case Cats Scratch Fever and best case Encephalitis. They had told us she would probably be in 6-9 months of physical therapy, she went to only 3 physical therapy appointments and was released. She also played in her last soccer game that next weekend. Today, she is in perfect health!
Praise God for his tremendous blessings!

What would He write to you?

2008-03-05T09:01:00.003-06:00

Wow! It has been forever since I last wrote... I like to write when I feel led to write and I guess, it just hasn't happened, until last night.

I was laying in bed, not able to sleep. Oddly enough, that has not been a problem for awhile because I have been teetering on the edge of real sickness. I have beat it though and am feeling a TON better. Anyway, I was laying in bed last night and starting thinking about something I read in a book that I am reading. This book is called Fire of Heaven. It is sort of a Left Behind type book, but it is from the 2 prophets stand point. In this book the prophets are a man and a woman. (it is not in the Bible that that 2 prophets are 2 men, this has them as a couple.) Anyway, there is a close friend who passed away and she was the one who was telling them who they were and what they were going to be. This lady had told them things that had come to pass and the 2 knew that what she was telling them was true. After they 2 got married, the lady had set up to have an email sent to them. (She knew she would not be there herself.) Along with it was an attachment and it was a letter from God himself to the newly married couple. Wow...

The details of the letter, for my blog, really doesn't matter. My point is, God wrote them a letter. Now yes, God wrote all of us a book and it is called the Bible and we are so blessed to have that from Him and be able to know what it means for us today.

But, what if though, just what if, God wrote you a letter? What if, the one true God of the universe, who knows every hair, on every living beings head, who was and is and is to come, what if He wrote you a personal letter? What would it say?

Well, this was my pondering as I drifted off to sleep last night. He was writing me a letter in my head. Here is most of what I remember.

"Dear Wendy Michele Hinsley Thompson,
I know every hair on your head. I know everything about you. I made you. I made you just the way you are. I brought Cathy Watson and Robert Hinsley together because they had what I needed to make you, perfect, just the way you are. You want to do things and I know you are hearing my message, You can do all things through my son, Christ because he strengthens you. You know it and you can do anything I need you to do. Life will be hard, but you will be sheltered from the storm, in me. My Precious, precious Wendy. Stay in my word, you have so much to learn, keep learning, don't stop. "

That is all I have. I can't remember anything else. Do you think I slept well last night... um yes. I was peaceful and content in who I am, just the way I am. I know that I can do the things I have been doubting because I have Christ who gives me strength. When I am feeling weak, I will have to come back and remind myself of this letter. Thank you God for talking to me last night...

What would He write to you? Take a moment sometime today or when you get a quiet moment and ask Him? Then make sure you write it down or type it out and keep it.

Be blessed, until we read again...

Messages from Above

2008-02-19T12:53:00.003-06:00

I did another bible study with Catie today. She had an orthodontist appointment and rather than find something to do for 45 minutes between dropping off the little ones and her appointment at 9am, we took her bible and did the bible study in the van right outside the doctors office. We read Gen 3 today. It was about Adam and Eve and the downfall of humanity. I read it once through and we talked about it for a moment. Catie was not sure exactly what God was trying to get to her, so I read it one more time. After I read it again, she said that God only banished Adam. What? She said it again, God only banished Adam out of the Garden of Eden. We talked it out and this is what we came up with. I read it again starting at verse 21. God made them, Adam and his wife, clothes. God then spoke to someone, not Adam and not Eve because He refers to them as "man" and whoever he is speaking to as "us". He tells someone or something, maybe he is talking to himself, He says," The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever." Let me break it down some more. God says, "He must not be able to reach out his hand to take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever." Adam must not be able to reach out his hand (Like Eve already did) to also take from the tree of life and eat and live forever. Here is what I know, Eve reached out first because of the serpent. Here is what I imagine might have happened. She called Adam over and said, "Hey try this, it's really good!" and handed it to him. He said, "Ok" and ate of the fruit of the tree of life. He, however, did not reach for it himself and take the first bite. She did. Verse 23 - So the Lord God banished HIM from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After He drove THEM out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life. So maybe, just maybe, God's plan for man being the leader of the family had already started way back then. Adam and Ever were one in marriage, therefore, where he went, she went. God banished Adam and Eve went too. I think maybe he showed mercy on Adam and Eve. He was probably very disappointed. I was talking to Catie some more about how Satan tries to decieve us and went back to where God was talking to them after the fruit was eaten and how God had to call them out from the bushes. He was talking to them like a parent talks to their child. Child does something wrong, parent calls them out and they come out from hiding looking at the ground kicking the dirt saying they were sorry. I began reading again and had my own message come through loud and clear. This may be something that you all know, but I have read this several times and never heard this before. Verse 14 - So the Lord God said to the serpent..." What! I kept reading and this is what I imagine happened. God call Adam and Eve out. They stand up behind the bushes and Adam says, "She gave me the fruit!" and points and Eve. Eve then says, " He told me to!" and points at the Serpent. I imagine that the serpent smiled a slimy grin, pleased with what he had caused. Slowly God is looking at them then turns his attention and fury to the serpent and tells him how he is now cursed because of what he did to Gods creations. Then he turns to Eve and tells her her consequences. Lastly, he turns to Adam, leader of the family and tells him his punishment. God then leaves and goes back to his home and makes clothes for his people. Still wanting to take care of them in spite of his disappointment. While doing this, I imagine him saying to himself or maybe to an Angel by his side, verse 22 and on. He comes back to Adam and Eve and banishes them out of Eden and locks the door with a cherubim and a flaming sword forever.
One other thing that stood out to me that I had heard before, but did not make much sense till this happened, was that when God is cursing Satan, in verse 15 - I will make you and the woman enemies to each other. Your descendants and hers will be enemies. One of her descendants will crush your head and you will bite his heel.(NCV) Praise God, it hit me! Right there in verse 15 God was already planning on sending Jesus! From the very beginning He was putting his plan in motion. God doesn't talk about Adam in this, he is talking about woman. God sent Jesus through the woman to save us from Satan. Jesus will crush Satan's head in the end and the only thing Satan will do to Jesus and us is bite our heels! How totally awesome is that? When I got all excited about this, Catie was looking at me like I was crazy. I told her that it might be over her head right now but I was proud of her for hearing what God said to her.
Her lesson for today is to watch for people making choices, good and bad. I told her to think about Eve standing next to the tree of life and the choice she made. I told her that it is not easy sometimes to make good choices, but good things come to us when we do.

Until we read again ~

side note post

2008-02-13T12:11:00.002-06:00

I realized that my spiritual gifts test link was wrong...oops sorry! I updated it...check it out again if you are interested!
wt

God speaking through our children

2008-02-13T08:39:00.003-06:00

Wow, how incredible God is. I was inspired by our pastor, Chris and his daughter Torie. They get up every morning at 630am and do a bible study. I have been wanting to do it with Catie for a couple of weeks, but 630am is so early! (I am not much of a morning person.) I have been told and read in the Bible that you should give first fruits to God. Debra at our church recently had a baby and spoke very eloquently about how she just now realized what first fruits were. It is the first of everything you have. Your first breath in the morning, your first tree that you spot everyday, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, (okay, I added that one.) You get the picture, she painted a very pretty one too. Thank you Debra for taking the time to do that for us.

So, I wanted to start trying to live up to that request from God. He laid it on my heart and gave me sign after sign that that was what he wanted me to do. So, I spoke to Catie about it. I asked her if she would like to do a bible study with me in the mornings before school? She, without hesitation, said yes! I told her that we would get up at 630am and get it done before 7am, so we can get ready for school and all that. She was excited and went to bed earlier than normal so she could still get plenty of sleep. A funny side note. When I brought this up and asked her what she wanted to learn about, she wanted to go into Revalations. That is her favorite, "because it has lots of prayers." Her favorite verse so far in the bible is the last verse of Revalations.

Anyway, my alarm went off bright and early this morning. I had been worried that I would oversleep and had been waking up about every 15 minutes starting at about 530am, just to make sure that I did not over sleep.(yuck) When my alarm went off, I got up and went to wake up Catie. She woke right up. I poured my coffee and then put some water on the stove for her so she could have hot chocolate. I explained to her what we would be doing. Chris suggested starting at the beginning because that showed what God was all about. His creation, His love for his people. What a great basis to begin with a child. Catie has a NIrV bible. It is a young readers version of the NIV. It is really awesome. It has little blurbs about how a child can put to use what the bible says. It also gives backgrounds about areas and bible times. So, we sat down and I told her that I would read Genesis 1. I wanted her to listen to it and if anything stands out to note it and we would go back to it. When I got done reading, we were quiet for about 20 seconds and just looked over the words. When we were done, I let her have the bible and I went to make her hot chocolate. After I sat down again, she had underlined 2 passages. It was the end of verse 18 - "And God saw that it was good." and the beginning of 2:3 - "God blessed the seventh day and made it holy. He rested on it." Wow, I was excited. I asked her what made those stand out? She said that God really like what He did, he made it perfect and worked really hard to do that. She said that after all that, he took a day to reflect and rest. She said that is what we do when we go to church and we need to make sure to do it. I told her that was great! I said, now lets see what else God has to say about it and we took a moment to reflect on those to verses when I read them again. She said basically the same thing. The thing that struck me about it was that she was confident. She knew exactly what God was trying to tell her. I tell you what, my child is connected to God. I knew it after she got out of the hospital and I feel terrible that it took me over 3 years to really get it and start growing her in God's word. I told her when we got done that God has a special plan for her and I don't know what it is, but He does and we need to be sure to get in His word so she can learn it and live it. She was excited! She told me she knew He did and she was sure about it. I sort of felt like maybe that is what Mary felt like while Jesus was learning when he was young. Proud and excited to see God's workmanship in front of her and knowing that He had a very large purpose in his future. I am sure that as he was learning and growing, he knew it and he got it. I know that sounds crazy and I hope that it is not sacrelgious for me to say that, but that was the only way I can describe my feelings of being with her this morning.

At the end of our reading, I told her what I would like her to do today is to take time to look at the things God made that were "good". Breath them in and rejoice in the things He perfected for us. I told her when I picked her up, I wanted to know some of those things that she saw today. She was excited and I can't wait to see what she says this afternoon!

Oh, another amazing thing, I am not that tired. I sort of feel revived. Maybe getting up early is not so bad when you are doing it for God. It is just another chance for God to bless you with energy for the day ahead.

Until we read again...

A sheltered life

2008-01-31T12:55:00.000-06:00

First thing, before I go into this, I want to be clear, I love animals, however, I do keep in perspective that they are animals and not humans.
I started volunteering at the Animal Shelter this week. I have always loved animals and thought this would be a great way to really get in there and give some love and helping out where there is a need. Catie and I went to an orientation last Saturday and it was enlightening. I remember when I took the Vet assistant class a year or so ago, I thought I would never get to use it, with the exception of my own animails. Alas, however, I used it today. Let me go back to Tuesday. I went in about 1115am to help. I had about an hour, I thought that would be enough to get my feet wet. I was able to help with laundry, I gave all the animals toys and treats. It was a great hour. Today, I had 4 hours available while the girls were in school. I got there at 815am and came in the back door. When I opened the door, there were 3 workers there and a dog. The thing that you hope never happens had happened. They had gotten a rush of animals yesterday and had to euthunize. I didn't know whether to cry or run. I knew it happens and I understand that it HAS to happen. For every child born in the US, 7 dogs are born. There is just not enough home for all the pets. There are not enough people who take care of their pets. It is very sad. So, the only thing I could say is, "where do I start today?" The supervisor apologized, she said they were trying to get done before I came in and that was the last one for today. I told her that I understood going into this that that was going to happen and it was okay.
So how did the rest of the day go? It was great! I helped with laundry a little bit, but mostly just folding today. I cleaned kittly cages and pet some sweet kitty cats. There was one that wanted me to pet him and everytime I walked by he would stick his paw out to get my attention. There was another one that was sick and in a lot of pain, so she had to be put down. Very sad. Moving right along, I helped to clean dishes, then I gave the dogs toys and treats again. That is always fun. There was one dog in the stray area where they hold incoming dogs for 72 hours before they determine their status and whether they are adoptable or not. He was so cool! If I didn't have a big dog, he would be a GREAT family dog. Everytime I would walk by he would talk to me and I would talk to him. He would sit and try be so still with his tail wagging a million miles an hour. He would bark at me to get my attention and when I would look at him he would try to be good, but it was sooooo hard. He wanted to be loved so bad. When they are in that section, they are not supposed to be messed with because they have not been checked out yet. You don't know demeanor or health status. Anyway, I talked to him all day. I hope he finds a good home. Next thing, lets see, I swept the halls and cleaned the baseboards in the cat room. (Yes, I actually cleaned baseboards!) I then got to go play with a little black lab puppy. He was really sweet too. Not very good manners though, but he was just a baby. He is going to be a big black lab and with some consistency, he will be a great dog! I got him to walk on a leash, sort of. He was starting to get that when I called him I wanted him to come. It was fun. He liked to chew on me or whatever was close more than anything. I have the marks to prove it. Then the lady that I had been "shadowing" more than anything today, she is a animal catcher, for lack of a better term, she does the pictures of the animals for the shelters Petfinder page online. I got to help hold/play/pose/love on the dogs so she could update the online page. That was totally fun! I was playing with them and loving them and rubbing bellies. They were so cute. There was two boxer puppies, probably 3 or 4 months old, a male that was tan like a lion and a female that looked like a tiger. They were little busy bodies together in the cage. Tiger was the first to get her picture taken. She was very shy and did not really want to leave my lap. She wanted to be pet on and loved on and once she got some of that, she started to come out of her shell. I can't wait to see which ones are picked to put online. The other one, Lion, he was a spit fire. He was all over the place, like my mom would say, full of piss and vinegar. He was an all around boy such a hoot.
I could go on an on about all the animals that we took pictures of today, but the sad part is, I don't know if they will be there when I get back. I hope they get homes. I know that I appreciate my dog and see him in a different light. I know how my cat felt when she picked me. I know why when I met her eyes that day at the Arlington Animal Shelter, she picked me and wouldn't let me go. I also appreciate all the hard work it takes to run a shelter now. There is so much to do. They are constantly taking phone calls and people are always bringin animals in, stuff always needs to be cleaned and laundry needs to be done for the next day. All of the animals get new blankets everyday and sometime more if there are accidents.
So, I pray that I will be blessed by and help bless the people that I come in contact with in this volunteer position. What a great opportunity.
Oh yea, I also got to take in a stray at the front desk. A lady came in with a stray that she picked up and couldn't keep. The dog was so sweet and wanted to be loved so bad. The even sadder part, she was sick with mange. The chances for her are not good. I guess the moral to this story is, take care of your animals. Make sure they are fixed. Make sure they have their shots. Make sure you keep tags on them or get them microchipped. The first thing they do when a dog comes in is check for a microchip, so they can get a dog back home. If you do lose your dog, call them to try find it. They will keep their eyes open for it. If you want an animal, check a local shelter first. There are all kinds of dogs there. Pure breds and everything. In fact, I think there are more pure breds than mutts there right now! Don't go buy one out of the paper or in a pet store. A shelter animal is loyal. They know what the streets are like and what it is like in the shelter, they appreciate what they have. I know it is crazy, but it is true.
So with all my soapbox talk, my closing statement is this, love your animals because they love you. God blessed us with these wonderful things to keep us company, try not to take them for granted, they are one of a kind.
Until we read again, here are a couple of things for you to look at...Burleson Animail Shelter petfinder list
http://search.petfinder.com/shelterSearch/shelterSearch.cgi?animal=&breed=&age=&size=&specialNeeds=&declawedPets=&children=&status=&id=&internal=&contact=&name=&shelterid=TX682&sort=&preview=1

And my lovely Oreo See he wants you to be good to your animals too!

Caution : God In Progress

2008-01-28T09:30:00.000-06:00

God is at work all the time. Sometimes you see him, sometimes you don't. I have had both of those in the last 2 weeks. I remember in elementary school, walking down the hallway and my teacher saying, " You have to watch where you walk so you don't trip." From that moment, I was impacted so heavily, that I was obsessed with watching my feet, so I didn't trip. Later on in my years...probably middle school, I am sure I was not as obsessed with it, but I was told that if I look down at my feet all the time, I can't see where I am going. I should always look up where I am going and trust my feet to take me there. Huh, makes sense, so I started holding my head up, confident that my feet were going to take me where I needed to go because I could see what was coming. A few years later in high school, I was one of those girls who read the horoscopes and twisted them so that they always meant something to me. Don't laugh, you did it too! :-) Anyway, in one of those magazines that I wasted my money on, I was reading an article about body language. It said that if you walk with slumped shoulders, watching your feet, you were afraid of the future and not confident, always preoccupied with the here and now and to be careful of walking while looking down, because you may not trip in a hole, but you might it smacked by a tree branch! That was funny, but scary too, because in a weird way, it was true. Then it went on to tell me that you should walk with good posture, stand up straight, hold you head high and look forward onto the path that you were walking on, because even if there is a hole, you will see it with enough time to react to it and you can move out of the way of the tree branch. That made so much sense to me. Winners both ways!

So, with that story, I am writing to tell you that sometimes, it is hard to look up while we are walking the path of life. Whether it be money or children or family or inanimate objects that breakdown, we seem to focus on the here and now. It is hard not to do that though. We get so wrapped up with the life that we live, the things that we have, the stuff we get busy with. We go to church and look up and forward to the future of Heaven with God and Jesus, then we get home and start looking down again. Next thing you know here comes Satan with that big ole branch and smacks us down, again, and we wonder, "Why did that happen to me?" We don't see it coming because we weren't looking up preparing ourselves for what the path is going to be like. If we were prepared, we could dodge some of the problems, and the ones we can't, well, they won't hurt as bad. How do we prepare ourselves? READ GODS WORD. Let it penatrate you, let it fascinate you, let it entertain you. I have been and let me tell you what. It is frickin awesome! I am reading the Old Testament and it is great. It is really inspiring reading the stories that God told so long ago and I have heard but never fully read. All this time, He was right there and I had no idea what I was missing. What else can we do? PRAY. Do it all the time, silently, happily, graciously, sadly, loudly, however you need to, just do it. He hears them. One thing to remember, His time is not always your time. Things don't happen exactly when you want them to. He is faithful though. He will answer them, one way or another. You have to keep your eyes open though, because he doesn't always hit you with a brick, sometimes it is a feather and you don't even feel it. It happened though and you might still be sitting there waiting. That brings me to another thing, I am sure you have heard it before, hindsight is 20/20. When you do miss it, after some time passes, you can turn around and see that he did answer your prayer, maybe not the way you anticipated, but he did. I always wish that I could have relished in it when it happened. That is why I try to keep my mind ever present for God working right now in me and around me. But I am not perfect by any means. That's why I remember to turn around and look to see what God has going on with me. Sometimes, I am rather surprised. He has big plans for me and it is scary that he trusts me that much.

Moving right along. God is answering prayers right now faithfully, in our family. It is amazing to see how big He is doing it right now. I give him all the glory! The things that he is doing are awesome and will allow us to bless others down the road. I can't wait to see what he has in store. Things that looked so bleak 1 and 2 weeks ago have grown to be bigger than they were before. You can see how I was just a couple of posts ago, and now, well, look where I am now. I was totally wrapped up in the here and now. I heard a song on the radio and was moved by it. After that, I started to come out and refocus and told my friend about the song by Mercy Me, Bring the Rain. I will end with this songs chorus and a thought to keep you looking up and moving forward:

Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory, cause I know they'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise you, then Jesus bring the rain.

So, with that being said, the rainbow will eventually come and the sun will eventually shine. It will not, however, happen without a storm though, so I will take some rain and patiently wait for it to clear.

Until we read again ~

Hello from T town...

2008-01-18T13:26:00.000-06:00

Boy I feel like I have been so far away lately. Living in the now world, so caught up in all this junk. I got sick yesterday, it was terrible. When you are sick like that it make everything seem so trivial. Anyway, I am better today. Actually almost like I was not sick at all. Almost.... Getting better every hour.

So, I have been reading my bible still. It is a great story. I never really understood it, but there is so much in there. I am in Kings/ Chronicles right now. The bible I have is a Chronological bible. It is really like reading a book. The person who did it starts each book with a blurb about what it is about to help you understand what it going on. I love it! I have learned so much and so many things make so much more sense when read it in order.

I see how much we can really gain by understanding what happened to God's people back then. They were like us to some degree on a much simpler level. They were good then they fell away, then God punished them and they came back. Like a yoyo...kinda like we do now. Except we are in the end times and things are really beginning to move.

Anyway, you know those days where you think you got it then don't...today is one of those days. I guess I will just keep plugging away and hopefully I will feel lots better tomorrow and things will start to make more sense. I will keep you posted.
Until we read again...

Answered prayers

2008-01-11T08:25:00.000-06:00

Funny how God works so quickly when you lose it. I had an answer to my post within 3 hours yesterday. By the end of the day everything had turned around and I was feeling better. How awesome is that? I guess he just wanted me to let go and give it up. Why is it that it is a continuous battle to hold onto stuff? Especially when we know that we don't have to? Why do we question his intentions intead of trust that he knows what he is doing? He has the answers, we should just remember to turn to him when we have the questions....

On another note, I have been reading my bible during my workouts on the bike. I read Ecclesiastes the last 2 days. I had no idea what it was about or I might have skipped it till I was in a better mood. How sad King Solomon must have been when he was writing it. He had everything and still realized at the end how meaningless it all was without God. It made me sad too. As a human being we put so much weight on our things that we have. Material things, Relationships with others, what we think, the choices we make. All of it we do is to impress others and for the opinion of others. Really the only thing that should matter is bringing glory to God. Really the only thing we should care about is hearing from God, " Well done, good and faithful servant." However, what matters nowadays is, "Whoever dies with the most wins." King Solomon died with the most and probably died thinking, "Everything is meaningless, without God." He screwed it up and knew it. How sad. I pray that God will not allow us to come to that end. I pray that we can live our lives bringing glory to Him through what we do and who we meet along the way. I pray that when we die, we can hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Until we read again...

Ahhhh! One of those days again...

2008-01-10T11:39:00.000-06:00

It has been a rough morning to say the least. Things that I don't want to have happen are happening all around me. I feel like I am in a swirling toilet and ready to go down the drain. I can't go into any details because well, I don't want to put people on the spot or hurt anyones feelings. I am frustrated and sad. I can feel God moving in me and wish that He would just hurry up to move in other people too. I know there is Gods timetable and my timetable. Mine is a lot faster though. Do you ever have those days that you just get frustrated!? I can feel Satan trying to attack my mind right now. Saying those negative things that can bring you down. The only thing I can do at this time is pray for God to take him back down where he belongs. I guess I need to sit down and just chill. "Be still and know that I am God." Maybe God is working in me and not ready for things to move along just yet. I wish he would just give me some sort of sign, so that I know that things are at least moving. Sorry, I had to get some of this out. I don't have control of anyone or anything. Just me. God is all powerful and he knows more than I do, so I will just be still and let him do his work in us. Pray for peace for me and to let God do his work in me and others.
Until we read again...Praise Him!

I have started a downward trend

2008-01-09T09:13:00.000-06:00

I snagged your interest with the title huh??? Well, it is not what you think. One of my New Years Commitments that I made was to my health. I have let it "weigh" me down for too long. I can feel aching in my knees and ankles. My blood pressure has started to go up. I decided that I need to take a stand on my health. I am a control freak and I CAN control that. I got together with my best friend in Oregon, Laura. She wants to do the same thing too. (Although she has been working out for a while now.) She and I started on 2Jan being accountible to each other. We email each other every day to tell each other what we ate and what we did. Our goal calories for the day is our weight times 7. (Not much I know). 64 Ozs of water. 30 minutes of activity. We keep each other motivated. It is totally awesome. That was my biggest thing about Weight Watchers is being held accoutible and motivated. Now I have Laura and I can do it for free! It is working too. I have lost 3 lbs since I started and I feel great! I am excited to get my blood pumping and while I do it I have been reading Gods word. (I read while I ride my stationary bike, don't worry).

So, I will keep you posted as I go forward in my journey with someone who is 2000 miles away. When I go home to visit this summer, we are going to celebrate our weight loss with a day at the spa, getting massages and pedicures! What a great time that is going to be!

Keep us in your prayers that we don't hurt ourselves and we can continue to drop the pounds and make ourselves healthy. Also pray that we have more good days than bad and that when we do have bad days, we can not get discouraged. This is not a diet but a lifestyle change to be healtier. Thank you Lord for showing me with sutble hints, before it was too late!

Until we read again...

Happy New Years - bah humbug

2008-01-03T12:18:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I have been trying for 3 days now to think of something witty to say for my New Years post. How about, whoopie doo! Yes, it is a new year, yes it will be a continuing new me, everyday. That being said though, everyday is a fresh start for me. Don't get me wrong...I am GLAD it is 2008. I am glad last year is OVER. I am glad that this year, is brand spankin new and that I have a whole new slate to start working on to change the things I want to change and do the things I want to do. I have been wanting to do things for a long time, but have continued to do the things that I don't want to do anymore. I keep coming back to what Paul says in the bible. I believe that it is Romans 7:15-20. Read it, you will see what I mean. It is a viscious battle that is waging inside of all of us. So, this is the year that I will do what I want to do and not what I want to do. Make sense...Read Pauls writing again...it will. :-) I have set up a support system and I will do it. I have all kinds of ramblings going through my head so I won't throw those at you but I want you to understand that this year, the new year becomes a new me. I will pray for this to come to fruition on many levels. I will also pray for you all because I know that you will have the struggles for yourself. May you all be lifted up in your lives to the light that keeps us warm on these cold winter months and cool on the hot summer days. May God bless you all in the coming year and may this be the Great '08! Until we read again....

movie review - Ratatouille

2008-01-03T12:06:00.000-06:00

Well, we pay per viewed this movie last week. It was very cute. It is a Pixar movie and well worth the $3.99 we paid for it. My girls loved it. There was not any bad violence in it, no cussing or anything of the like. There were good guys and bad guys and none of which were negative and they got was was coming to them in the end. Basically if you haven't seen the commercials or if you don't know what it is about, then let me tell you. There is a little mouse named Remy who lives in France with his little mouse family. He realizes that he likes to cook and oddly enough can read to do so, although, he uses his nose and not so much the recipe to do so. (I like to cook that way too.) Anyway, they get caught by the owner of the house and all run out and get seperated in a drain pipe. He ends up in Paris near a fancy restaurant and befriends an American waiter and they learn to cook together and become the rave of the town. The movie is a happy movie that, in a round about way, teaches you to learn how to do things for yourself and not just take from other people (or mice). I liked it and I am sure will watch it again with my girls...over and over and over.

Here's an idea!

2007-12-24T15:11:00.000-06:00

I have been wondering about things that I could write about. I know God is trying to get to me right now and again, being too wrapped up in my stuff, I can't hear him. Do you ever feel like that?

Anyway, I love to watch movies. I love to read reviews of movies. I love to hear other peoples ideas about movie reviews. I know that when I read the reviewer in the Star Telegram Friday pull out section, I generally don't agree. They usually think it sucks and when I watch it, I enjoy it. That being said, Gary Cogil on ABC local, he is usually right on. I can watch him and know that when I see the movie, I will usually agree with what he has to say. So, me, being the ever so opinionated person I am....not....I am going to review movies on my blog when I see them. Now don't be afraid, I don't go to that many movies, so it shouldn't be too many for you! But, I do like to pay per view them! I mostly watch kiddo movies with the girls, so I may review some of them too.

When I review the movie, I will put "Review: Name of movie" in my title section so you won't have to read it if you don't want to. If you would like me to review one for you, you can email me the name of the movie and I will try to check it out. Don't worry, the service will be free. :-)
Also, when I read a book, I may review that too. I have really started reading a lot lately. I try to read one fiction then a non fiction. I am on a fiction one right now.
Anyway, I am excited about this venture. If it goes well, I may try to get some reviews into the newspaper somewhere. Hehe...Trying to be the Roaring Lamb that God needs me to be!

Let me know what you think about my idea. I have some others, but I am going to start with this one.

Until we read again! wt

Ponderings from a forwarded email...

2007-12-10T09:08:00.000-06:00

I just read this great email called, "God's Busy". I have added it with my thoughts afterward...Read on:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq andAfghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform, I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you?" "Why did you do that?"
The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot, So, He sent me."

First off, how totally cool is that? I hope it is true. I think sometimes people need God to knock them out. I know I need to be reminded on occasion. (I am glad He hasn't hit me yet...) On the other hand, how many times has God sent you to take care of His business and you were too busy taking care of your own? I believe as a culture in todays times, we are way too busy. We keep our schedules cluttered. We keep our minds filled with what we saw on TV last night, what we have to do next or who did what to who last night. We keep our childrens lives filled with music practice, softball practice, gymnastics, computer games, television, you name it. What happened to slowing down and taking a moment to listen to what God has to say. Yesterday at church, Blake (our youth pastor) preached on this very subject. He talked about how we need to take time for God. Even God knew when to rest after a busy week. (See the Creation story in the first book of the Bible) He spent a whole day resting. We always talk the big talk, about how we are going to start doing it, but I challenge you to follow through and walk the big walk. I bet if we started slowing down and resting, we would be a lot more open to God's will for our lives. Maybe he has someone we need to knock out for him, but we can't hear him because we are so busy. Maybe He has something for our kids to help Him with, but we have them so busy, they can't hear Him either??? The question is, will they figure it out before they go deaf? Let's stop and get our boxing gloves ready and see what happens next!

Gone into the Light...

2007-12-04T09:05:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time I was me. It seemed like a long time ago, but praise to God, I am new today. I went to a retreat a few weeks ago hoping for a change. I say hoping because that is what I was doing, hoping. Not praying. I knew that others had come through it and they had been changed and I wanted change too. (see post below called Letting Go). Anyway, I wanted to be made whole again so that I could see Gods miracles and blessings in my life. I knew that I was being held back because of things that I continued to hang onto in my magical backpack that no one but me and God knew was there. I would say they were gone, but they weren't. They were just pushed deeper so I could keep on pretending. God knew though. He knew that He had blessings waiting for me and He stood there, arms crossed, toe tapping, eyes rolling saying, "C'mon Wendy, quit talking and start doing. I have a bagful of blessings piling up here..." Can you see Him? He is probably doing it to you too.
During our retreat, we heard about the things in the dark that we do and hold onto that keep us out of the light, (hence the name Marvelous Light.) We heard about bondage and things of the occult, (which is more than you would have thought). We heard about legalism and idolatry. Most of all we heard about forgiveness. One of my dear friends and I have talked a lot about that in the past. She is very wise. She had given me some of her story but at the retreat, she gave all of it. When she talked about her story in full, it filled in the rest of the blanks for me and I got it. I understood all that she had said to me and more. She helped a lot of people that weekend. At that moment I realized that the biggest thing holding me back from receiving the full blessings of God was the spirit of unforgiveness. I realized that I said I forgave but I just called it something else. I pointed fingers at other things. "Well, they made the bad decisions, they are not humble, they sure do have issues!" In reality, all those things are true, but because of my unforgiveness, I harbored anger and resentment. Those two things alone are enough to drive you insane when your mind starts thinking about it. Your stomach starts to boil, your blood starts to rush, your head feels heavy and before you know it you are taking it out on everyone around you who loves you. Then the ball starts rolling, they take it out on the people around them and around them and around them.... No wonder there are so many angry people.
But for me, NO MORE. I refuse to let Satan take my joy away anymore. I refuse to let Satan take my blessings away anymore. I know that I was changed at the retreat because I had an opportunity this weekend to let the anger retake control. I did not do it. I was faced with the one thing that would get me seething mad and I did not bite. Instead, I chose to remain calm. My stomach did not start to boil, my blood did not start to rush, my head did not feel heavy. I was completely and irrefutably unaffected. Even when I realized nothing was happening, I still was unaffected. Even when the disscussion heated, I still remained calm. At that moment, I knew that my prayers at that retreat with the 2 other women in my triad were heard and delivered upon. I knew that that burden in my magical backpack was gone. I knew that God had answered my call to take them away from me. Wow, what a freedom I have received! I have been blessed beyond meausure since then. The most recent was last night. No, it wasn't money or anything like that but it was something that I heard on TV. Had I walked into the room at any other moment, I might have missed it. I had a double header last night with our church softball team. After I played another terrible game with no hits in either game and wanted to quit playing altogether because I was so frustrated, I came home to hear Joel Osteen preaching on the television. He said that people are always trying to do things to impress other people. He said that God gives us certain things to be good at and when we venture out of those things and get frustrated we end up wasting our energy. He said we should be impressing ourselves with the things God gifted us with. I know that can be taken several ways, but last night, at that moment, I realized that at some point, I wanted to be really good at something that I maybe was not so good at. I had lost the fun and was trying too hard. My entire family was extremely good at softball and baseball. My Grandpa was going to play in the minors after the Korean war, but because of an injury, he did not get to. My mom was All-Star in high school. My dad did not get to play till he was older due to a heart condition, but he was good too. So at that moment, when I heard those words, I believe that God was giving me a blessing saying that it was okay to be not so good at softball because I am great at other stuff that He wants me to be great at. Isn't that the most important? So, when I play softball and yes, I will play again, I just need to have fun and bring the joy back in my game and play for me because it's fun and not everyone else because I want people to think I am good. Now, had I not gone through and reached into Marvelous Light that awesome November day, I don't know that I would have heard the blessing. People wonder if you can hear God talking to you and I say yes, you just have to be listening...

Softball blunders

2007-11-13T13:29:00.001-06:00

Okay, so last night we had another CJ softball game. I got to play second base for the first time. I usually play catcher. I had a terrible game last night. I missed more than one ball. Here's one picture of my game, have you ever have one of those moments where it's like time slows down? Well, I missed the ball, lost my balance and hit the ground. I remember looking up, shocked that I missed it, because I was so sure I wasn't going to. I realized that everyone was looking at me and was pulled back to reality by yelling to get the ball because it was still in play. Hello, the game is still going. The winning run scored and the game was over. Let me top it off for you. I hit the ball terrible last night too. I had one more at bat and I had gone over it a million times while sitting on the bench. I get up to bat and smack it hard over the shortstops head. Whew hew! I take off to run, bam, tripped in the hole on the other side of the plate, do a somersault roll over my right shoulder, get up, still sure that I was going to make it to first because it was a perfect hit between the left fielder and shortstop.....that is, if the left fielder was playing where he was supposed to, but alas, he wasn't and caught it. I was out. I was dirty, blood dripping down my knee, dirt pouring out my ear, esteem in the gutter, out. On the bright side though, I did however get a chance to redeem myself to myself. Another team needed a girl to play and I offered to help. I played with people I did not even know. I had 2 great hits and helped them win the game, which they had not done yet. I knew I could do it, even with no one watching. I love to play softball.

Letting go

2007-11-11T15:07:00.000-06:00

This past week, I went to the doctor for a sinus infection. I needed some medicine. I chose to take my SHAPE book with me. It is about finding and fulfilling your unique purpose for life. It is a follow up to the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. If you haven't read that one, you should. Anyway, I had read halfway through the SHAPE book, then decided to finish another book before moving on into the deep part. I read through the first chapter of the second half call "Letting Go". It was quite moving and realized that I could not just read this part of the book, I had to do the writing part too, in order to get the most out of it. While waiting for the doctor in the back, I started the chapter over and worked through it. It was quite thought provoking. I thought through a whole bunch of things that I needed to think through. I would like to take this opportunity to follow through with what I wrote in a prayer to God to help me Let Go.

Dear God,

Today I'm fully surrendering my life to you. I realize that I have been holding things back from you, for which I am sorry. Please take from me all of the things I have listed below and give me the rest that your Word promises. In addition, give me the strength and wisdom to live surrendered everyday of my life.
God I surrender the following to you today....

My Worries -
-My whole family including myself
-Health issues in my whole family including myself
-Money

My Wounds
-Never feeling good enough for my dad, always feeling like I had to prove
myself, actually, to everyone, not just dad.
-Marie's bad choices and how they have affected everyone.

My Wrongs
-To Miranda- I don't give her the same leeway that I give to Jessica. I think I do it because I am trying to make her a better person, but I don't know if that is totally true or not. I know it is partly, but I don't know that I don't take out some of my resentment from Marie on her. That obviously is a wrong to Miranda.
-I yell at people when I am angry. I should memorize James 1:19-20.
-I hold resentment in my heart towards Marie for her bad choices.
-I hold resentment in my heart towards Melysa for being not being grateful for the things that she has been given.

My Weaknesses
-Organizational skills in my home
-Patience in everything
-My fear of failure or letting people down
-Stepping out of my comfort zone to talk to new people

My Wishes
I wish that I would be a better mom to my girls.
I wish I had more patience.
I wish that I could make the difference in the lives of abused and neglected children.
I wish that when I die people will remember me as a loving mom, wife and child of God who made a difference in their lives.

Lord, today I have realized that in order to be fully yours, I need to surrender everything to you. Not just part of it, but all of it. You tell me that I can trust you with it all and you will take care of me and I will hold your Word close to me and believe that. Lord, today, I thank you for taking these burdens from me. Lord, when I am tempted to take them back, please remind me swiftly and lovingly that you have them for me. I thank you for all the blessings that you have given me and continue to give me. I thank you that you gave your son for me so I could be reunited with you in heaven on your golden streets.
Thank you Lord for all you are, all you have done and all you will do,

Amen.

Free isn't so free

2007-09-27T09:56:00.000-05:00

I took all my girls to school today. 4 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I am free of children. Peace. No one screaming in my ear that someone hit her or spit at her or isn't being fair or won't stay out of my room! Whew. I look forward to it, I earned it. I was walking through Walmart today, alone. It was a different experience. Have you ever done it? You should try it if you haven't. I was walking calming, looking at everything. If I wanted to stop and look at something I did. I was on my way to the checkout line and realized I forgot something on the other side of the store. Of course, it happens all the time. Now my first instinct was to go ahead and checkout, because I was almost done and the checkouts were right there, there was one open and I can just put the item back on the list for next time I go to the store. I stopped in my tracks. I did not have any kids and I did not have to rush home for any reason. Well then, that is a new feeling! Guess what I did, walked to the other side of the store, found my item, gently placed it in my cart and walked back to the other side of the store to again, ready myself for check out. Smiling all the way while I looky loo'd. I slowly did the self check out and put everything exactly where I wanted it. I got my receipt and proceeded toward the door. I then realized that I could carry the 4 bags in my hands and did not have to take the cart out today. I gave the cart to the greeter at the door, she smiled and said, "Thank you, have a great day!" I smiled back and said, "Thank you! You too!" Then I casually went on my way out the door.

On my way out to the van it hit me. In 2 years, at this time, all my girls will be in school. All day, every day school. Wow. What the heck will I do all day, everyday? Miss my girls, I will miss them. Catie right now is 8 and she already doesn't want to kiss me goodbye anymore. She blows me kisses and occasionally she will play catch up and give me hugs and kisses for all the days she didn't actually do it. What will it be like when all 3 of them are "too big" to do it? What will it be like when we are not the most important people anymore. It seems like for all the times I say, "Whew, some freedom and quiet time", there will be so many more when I say, "Whew, I sure miss my little girls screaming in my ear that someone hit her or spit at her or isn't being fair or won't stay out of my room!" God bless them and thank you Lord for showing me that today, just at the right time.

Awesome day!

2007-09-21T10:24:00.000-05:00

Besides the usual to and fro for school and stuff, I did my stationary bike again for 30 minutes. I did it a couple of days ago too, but have not had a chance to blog about it. It has been an emotionally draining week due to family issues. I have to get past it though because I don't have control, only God does.

Anyway, we had our first practice for softball last night (my church team) and it rocked. Not everyone was there, but I always look forward to the fellowship with everyone and last night was no different. I was so excited because I got to hit the ball last night. I have been really practicing in my head and have gone to the batting cages a couple of times and it paid off. I hit the ball last night and actually made it out of the infield! Yea! It felt good too. The first season I sucked at hitting and catching. Last season I sucked at hitting, but my catching had improved. This season, my catching is a little rusty, but I am sure that will get better, but my hitting has improved. I also got my first real boo boo last night, trying to catch a pop up. I was running out to it and tripped on a hole, missed the ball, rammed my shin into the ground and slid on dry grass on top of it. Luckily, there was no blood, but my shin under my knee is swollen and really sore today. That is part of it. I probably would have bled had it happened on the field, but I would not have tripped on the uneven holey ground.

Well, I am soooo excited for the new season that is upon us. Our last game is Thanksgiving week. What an adventure.

Lots more stuff to talk about, but not right now.
Until we read again! wt

Yea me!

2007-09-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

I rode my stationary bike today for 30minutes! I feel great too. I am reading this book and I read it while I was riding it. It makes the time go a lot quicker. It did not hurt that it wasn't flaming hot outside either! :-) I guess it is a start. I walked 2 miles last Thursday after I took the little ones to school. That was awesome too. I did 1mile in 13 minutes and the second mile in 11minutes. My goal with that will be to walk be to eventually bring it down, but I think it is a good start.

Until we read again...wt

Busy Busy Busy

2007-09-09T15:50:00.000-05:00

Today at Church, it was brought to our attention that that we are always in a hurry. It is funny how God throws things at you, just when you need it because it is soooo true. Everywhere I go, I feel rushed. I rush through life and rush through my shows, rush through homework with my kids, even rush through mowing the lawn because rain was coming today, (which by the way, it ended up not even raining at our house!) A month or so ago, I was driving behind someone who was going slow (the speed limit) on our back country road and heard my 3 year old say, "C'mon DUDE!" It was a slap in the face. How many times must she have heard me say that? A few days ago, she said it again. I realized that, not only am I rushing all the time, my girls are watching and learning from me to be busy bodies. Before church this morning, my husband realized that he is basically booked up all week this week. Working all day, then softball games/practices, house church, it seems the list goes on. How is it that in life today we are keep ourselves so busy that we don't have time to sit down and relax or take care of ourselves. I complain all the time about how overweight I am. I could make time for that, my heart wants to make time for that, but I don't. My head makes up excuses and my limbs follow suit.
I am not really sure where I am going with this post, but alas to ponder, why are we so busy and what can I do to make a difference so my kids don't grow up running their lives away, in a hurry, like I do. C'mon Dude!

Until we read again! wt

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Wendy

2007-09-07T22:00:00.000-05:00

Today is day number one of my blog. Welcome to my world. I will share some of my thoughts during the life of this blog. How long it will last, only God knows. I will use this as a vent to let out some of that exhaust that seems to build up in the Wonderful World of Wendy. Expect to hear a lot about my lovely T girls, (since they did get the star name of the blog) and some of my trials and tribulations that my life will bring me to and God will bring me through. I am hoping to use this as my accountability too. I want to lose some weight and I found that being held accountable is helpful, so this will be my anonymous way of doing that. Thanks for following me on my way.

wt